Heaviness

It's with a heavy heart that I've decided to keep this blog real and share the tough times in life, as well as the great and the superfluous. My Dio, who is nearing 17, is not in good shape. He began a new weight loss trend about 2 months ago. Two weeks ago I took him to the vet to address his weight loss. He'd started eating less in recent weeks, and was growing startling thin. Dio has always been slim and athletic. In his prime he weighed about 9 pounds, but did not have any flesh to spare. He is now a skeletal 7 pounds.

For many years Dio has had chronic, but not life threatening problems with his kidneys, liver, GI tract and thyroid. It seems all those systems are growing stressed. Blood panels done two weeks ago showed elevated results with almost all functions, but nothing that could specifically pinpoint his weight loss. Dr. Jackie added an appetite stimulant to Dio's regime, and in recent days he has finally begun to eat a teeny bit more. I find my mood being dependant on how much he has consumed. If he's eaten most of his bowl, I'm elated. If he's hardly touched it, I'm depressed and anxious. In recent days he's eating more, BUT he hasn't been pooping, and he's been laying on his stomach in a way that makes me think it hurts with constipation. I spoke with Dr. Jackie today, and was told to give it another day or two unless I see him straining in the box. He may need an enema, or it may be more complicated if it's related to system failure. There is a true sense that his life is winding down and that is the saddest thing ever.

Dio is the last of a crew of 4 cats Joe and I had when we first met. Buddha, my cat before I met Joe, lived to be 21.5. We had to put him down in March 2000 when a large grape-sized tumor began growing under his tongue. I still miss him. Sarafina died next at the age of 12 in July 2003. It was a traumatic late night emergency run to the vet as fluid in her lungs started drowning her. The fluid was likely related to cancer. It was tragic. In July 2005 we put 16 year old Cleo down when she developed uncontrollable diabetes. Since that time, Dio has been our only cat, much to his delight. It's what he always wanted. He hated the other cats, and hates all humans aside from us. No one knows how sweet, intelligent and funny he is but us. Some of his sassiness is beginning to fade, as I suspect he doesn't feel well. Each day I wonder, is today the day I need to help him end it all? That's the hardest part in all of this. When is it time?