September By Storm

September did not begin well, nor is it ending well. It's been a turbulent, stormy month with the trials and tribulations of Rainier's life & death, Joe's need for rabies shots (he received his final shot today) and our crazy-hectic work schedules. Just when we thought maybe things would start to simmer down this week, perhaps setting the tone for a quiet and peaceful October, we've been foiled again. Most of you know Joe was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis in 2004. Since his diagnosis he has been well, experiencing no flares (relapses), until this week ...the next several weeks will be spent addressing and treating this flare.

Rainier Was Loved

R.I.P. Rainier - 9/25/10

When the phone rang at 9:38 p.m. last night, it was Amanda from Happily Ever After calling in a state of saddened surprise, reporting Rainier had died within the hour. Two hours before his passing, he'd been sleeping on Amanda's chest, and there was nothing to indicate that his health was in sudden decline. In fact, he had rallied during the week - warming to Amanda, showing playful spunk, tolerating his medicines well. Amanda's vet team studied Rainier's records, conferred at length, and felt certain that his seizures were being caused by the viral infection (with accompanying fever) responsible for his URI. They believed if he could get over the viral illness, he could come off the seizure meds, and there was much hope for him to live a full life. The exact cause of death will not be known.We suspect his tired little body, weary and worn from at least 3 weeks of illness (maybe longer, since we think he was sick at the Kenosha Humane Society before we ever rescued him), could no longer fight the viral attack.

Amanda asked if it'd be okay with us to bury him, rather than sending his body to Madison to test for rabies (a requirement if an animal who has not had a rabies vaccine bites a human). In the sadness of the moment, wanting no more hassles for Rainier, and with perhaps a misguided sense of security in multiple veterinary assessments that did not find rabies to be likely, I agreed with Amanda. As Joe and I talked, it became clear that for our own peace of mind regarding Joe's possible exposure to rabies, it would be best to know for certain that rabies is not the cause of Rainier's death. So, we have sent Amanda a request to have the Madison necropsy done. We hate the idea of Rainier's head being severed for testing, and not lying him to rest at the sanctuary, but without conclusive knowledge regarding the rabies issue, how can we move on?

So, there remains this last bit of business to finish in the Rainier chapter of our lives. It's amazing what can happen in such a short period of time. 30 days ago we didn't know Rainier, and since that time we have loved him as if we'd been his people for years, we have given round the clock care, cried, smiled, lost sleep, advocated, and given all we could to make his life viable. We will miss him, but have a sense of relief that his struggles are over. And we can say goodbye with no regrets, guilt or remorse, knowing we truly did all that we could.

Numbers

Here I am approaching the soggy finish line in Sunday's muddy trail race. Our August vacation jump started a 9 pound weight loss, which I've maintained thus far. I'm hoping that my continued running will keep me in the 120's - a weight I haven't seen since I was 12 or 13! I wonder if it'll help me run a little faster too? I've discovered that 9 pounds makes a big difference with clothing as well. I've generally worn 8's and 10's for the past decade, but during a 30% off Kohl's coupon shopping spree this past weekend (and I have NO business buying clothing when I've spent close to $2500 on cat related matters), I found I'm an easy 8, and depending on how generous the hips are, I can do 6's now too. This is new and exciting territory! Fingers crossed that it is permanent...

Loose Ends

It seems some of you are feeling my last post left a cliff hanger, so this is the time for me to tie up loose ends and share miscellaneous tidbits.

CATS: The story about the call from the county rabies program is too long and complicated to get into here, but the bottom line is that Rainier is secure in his new home with Amanda, the owner of the sanctuary, and it is highly unlikely that Rainier has rabies. I heard from Amanda Monday morning that Rainier had a good first night and was adjusting alright. As for the new kittens? We'll hear from Amanda when their ringworm is gone, which could take 2-6 weeks. When she calls, we'll go get our boys. We've decided on names. The buff kitten currently called "Davidson" will be named Chaco. You can look at him here: http://www.petfinder.com/petdetail/17370240We are naming him after the Chaco Canyon ruins in the deserts of NM - an ancient Anasazi archaeological site that we have been to and loved. The tiger tabby brother currently called "Harley" will be named Denali, after another grand mountain that we cherish. Here he is: http://www.petfinder.com/petdetail/17370205

JOE: Joe received his second dosing of the rabies vaccine Monday and will get his third on Friday, with two more left after that. He is doing well. Joe also saw his orthopedist last Friday for answers about his preponderance for stress fractures. Dr. Gordon finds no reason for Joe's repeated metatarsal stress fractures, and has referred him to his previous physical therapist for a gait analysis (this means Joe will be videotaped running and then every aspect of his stride will be analyzed to find problems with his body mechanics). Joe will have this done next week. In the meantime, he started running again this week with only his right orthotic in. This creates an unlevel running position, but his left foot wasn't sore after his first run either, so ....?

ME: I had a fabulous aromatherapy sports massage today that seemed to wash away the emotional and mental stress stuck in my body from the past few weeks. I feel really good now - ready to keep moving forward. The sports massage worked out a few kinks to reset my start button for increased training. I will have long runs for the next 4 Saturdays in preparation for the Lakefront Discovery 15k on 10/30/10. This will be a 9.3 mile race along Lake Michigan, into Lake Park and back, ending at the Ale House in the Third Ward. It'll be my last distance race of the year - just a couple 5k's remain after that to seal 2010. Work remains intensely busy, but I'm happy. Tomorrow will be my 8 year anniversary with Waukesha County - the longest position I've ever held. There is a faint possibility that with the February 2011 retirement of a part-time psychologist that a Clinical Therapist position will be created within our team - a job that I would have available shot at. Stay tuned!

What a Day

Yesterday was a whirlwind of epic physical, mental and emotional duration. Lets break it down into time frames.

6:40 a.m. BEEP, BEEP, BEEP goes the alarm - way too early for a Sunday morning. I put on my running garb, down a slice of peanut butter toast on Joe's homemade whole wheat bread, a blueberry Silk soy yogurt, grab my Camelbak hydration pak, Joe and head to the car.

7:45a.m. Drive 35 minutes to Ottawa Lake in the Southern Kettle Moraine, while watching the morning sky darken instead of lighten. Sit in the car to stay warm on this chilly 53° day, and dread the start of The North Face Endurance Challenge Trail 10k since I'm tired and feel under prepared.

9:00a.m. Heavy rain lets loose as the race begins. Dean Karnaszes, the host of all North Face Endurance Challenge events, tells us that the rain makes for "an interesting trail experience" and encourages us to have "fun in the mud". It's cold, it's raining, and after this race I need to face taking Rainier to Green Bay. I'm skeptical that this will be fun or interesting. The only thing I have going for me is that my knee feels good, and I'm cold & wet, which means I'm willing to hustle to warm up.

9:00-10:30a.m. I have a great race. The mud isn't too bad. I don't fall. I never walk up one hill - not even for one second. I am immersed in the constantly changing trail conditions and slip into the moment instead of the past and future. I don't feel tired. My legs are strong. I'm not gasping for air. I don't get the usual side stitch that occurs when I trail run. I'm no longer cold. I don't mind being wet. I cross the finish line under the time I had projected. I'm thrilled that I performed better than expected. I rehydrate and refuel, and we're soon zooming home for Part II of our day.

11:15a.m. We're home, I'm convulsing with shivers, and am heading for the shower when I get my last update call from the hospital. Rainier has vomited some food. His temperature is a bit elevated. His discharge prognosis is guarded. This is a sad reality check that he may not ride off into the sunset of a full and happy life.

12:30p.m. I'm showered and returned to warmth. I have no time to stretch, which means my legs will be in a bad way at the end of the say after sitting in a car for hours. We head to the hospital to pick up Rainier.

1:30p.m. We're on the road - leaving directly from the hospital. I'm driving and the back seat looks like this: A sheet covers the entirety of the back seat to catch any viral spores Rainier might leave behind. The front passenger seat is pushed far forward. Joe sits behind the passenger seat, petting and combing Rainier in his lap. Next to Joe is Rainier's bed, behind me on the seat is Rainier's carrier, and on the floor is a litter box just in case. Rainier sleeps the entire drive and drifts into two mild seizures - this despite being medicated. Again, a sad reminder that he is a really sick kitty, and that we are doing all we can for him.

3:45p.m. We arrive, amidst Packer fans leaving en mass after the Packers destroyed the Bills, to the Happily Ever After Adoption Center on Holmgren Way, just 3 blocks from Lambeau Field. We meet Amanda, the owner of the sanctuary with whom we've been corresponding all week. She meets Rainier, puts him in her truck to insure he doesn't meet up with other cats (infectious disease control), and then we go inside to meet the kitten brothers we're thinking of adopting. The brothers are cute with identical faces though their coloring is is different. These brothers are the same age as Rainier, but they weigh a lot more and they have the spunky playfulness of normal kittens. Another reminder of Rainier's troubles. It's hard to reconcile that we are both here to get Rainier help and to choose new kittens to bring home. It's difficult to switch mental gears this way and feels like a betrayal of sorts to Rainier. We like them and adopt them. They will remain in Green Bay until their ringworm is resolved.

5:00 p.m. We say goodbye to Rainier and begin the drive home. Amanda will keep Rainier at her house rather than placing him in isolation. He will get the love and medical attention he needs.We know we've done everything we can, but we still feel terrible driving away from him. It's an impossible situation. The ride home is sprinkled with tears, traffic jams, and brainstorming sessions for the new boys.

8:15p.m. We're finally home. Now my knee is killing me after racing without stretching and driving for 6 hours (total). We've eaten nothing but Clif bars and Ritz crackers today. We're tired and feel discombobulated. Joe makes us a quick meal while I stretch and ice my knee.

9:00p.m. Dinner and rest on the couch.

10:30p.m. Bed sweet bed.

And just when you think it's finally over .....

Today, 10:00a.m. Ring, ring, ring. It's the Waukesha County Rabies Program calling about Rainier. Apparently he bit a vet tech at the hospital on 9/16 while she was changing his IV and now the County says he needs to be quarantined for 10 days. They are furious (with the hospital) that he was allowed to leave the county and need to talk to Amanda at the Sanctuary. There's more to all of of this but it's too tedious for you readers, who's eyes must already be bleeding from the length of this post!

11 Years

It was 11 years ago today that we moved to our house. It was a beautiful, quintessential autumn day with bright blue skies, and perfect temperatures. We didn't own a lot, and were able to make the 25 mile move from our East side apartment to Waukesha in one trip with the help of my mom and dad. I still remember how surreal and exciting it was to know that this was our house. I had never lived in a house, nor any residence as nice as this, so I kept pinching myself to know it was real. I grew up rather poor living in junkie duplex's on the lower East side BEFORE it became the fashionable hot spot it is today. Though there was the lakefront and parks close to home, my actual residences were tucked into a concrete jungle, so moving to this house in Waukesha, surrounded by lush greenery and peace was a dream come true. Over the years we've added the pine trees you see in this picture, as well as a new roof, windows, heating & AC, hot water heater, paint and many personalized touches. I've never tired of this home and still love it in a fresh way each time I walk in.

Segueing into current matters, today is a drippy, dreary day, which makes it a perfect time to continue the disinfectant cleaning job. I went to visit Rainier yesterday and found him looking a lot better. His eyes were finally open and what pretty green eyes he has! He was thrilled to see me and purred so loud I could barely hear my thoughts. He's in isolation so I had to wear gloves to pet him, and upon leaving his room I had to scrub my hands, and stand in a basin of bleach, to prevent transmission of his virus to other animals in the hospital. The hospital has been dutiful in calling me several times per day with updates. This morning they reported he had no seizures over night, is eating and drinking on his own, and seems in overall better spirits.

I'm off now for a quick 1-2 mile run to loosen my legs up in preparation for tomorrow's 10k - a race I must admit I'm feeling under prepared for.

It Ain’t Over ‘til The Worms Are Gone

You guys didn’t think the story could end without one more twist, did you? The two kittens we have our eye on, “Harley” & “Davidson” – 5 month old brothers who are cute as heck, just developed ringworm. They’ve been healthy the entire time they’ve lived at Happily Ever After (HEA), but a recent group of new admits brought and spread ringworm around before it was detected. Ringworm is not the end of the world, nor is it dangerous or fatal, BUT it is transmissible to humans. Joe is already receiving the rabies vaccine while living through a bad cold, the last thing we need is to expose him to ringworm! We also don’t have the energy to treat cats with medicine anymore – not for a long time! Through a volley of emails with HEA, we’ve formulated a new plan. We will still bring Rainier to them on Sunday, and we’ll get to meet H & D. If we are smitten, we can adopt the brothers, but leave them at HEA until their worms are gone. This plan may be better than our original plan, as it will allow the nasty viral beasties in our house to die (they can live on hard and soft surfaces 3-4 weeks, despite our cleaning efforts), gives us a more manageable schedule for disinfecting the house, and it gives us time to just breathe and move beyond the craziness of the past 3 weeks. And while it seems like a haul to make two trips to Green Bay, I look at it from the perspective of getting in a beautiful fall ride when we return to get H & D … hmmm, did you catch my wordage? Sounds like I’ve already decided their ours. And I guess they will be unless their personalities aren’t what we’re looking for. If we do get them, we will change their names.

It Ain't Over til The House Is Cleaned

Is the suspense killing you? Happily Ever After told us to bring Rainier up Sunday afternoon at 4p.m. to their Green Bay adoption center!!! He's in!!! His life is spared!!! And maybe someday he will be adoptable, and if not, he will live a happy life in their care. This was such a relief! We will miss him a lot, but we'll be coming home with two new kittens. There are several pairs of bonded litter mates that we'll be considering. This sounds like a happy ending, but there's much to be done in the next few days.

The primary issue is disinfecting the house. The viruses that may be causing Rainier's URI can live on carpet, clothing, hard surfaces, etc, for up to 1 month. I don't want to do anything to compromise the health of the new kitties, so we're in for serious cleaning. A few minutes ago, I was spraying down the furniture with a Lysol disinfectant, when the carbon monoxide/gas detector in the basement went off registering gas. Petrified, I called the emergency gas line, and they told me the aerosol spray could set it off. Crisis averted :) This cleaning will be a huge, exhausting undertaking, but is necessary.

Rainier is showing some improvement with his eyes and his URI. Last night he reportedly had no seizures while on Phenobarbital. The hospital could discharge Rainier tomorrow, but we have decided it makes no sense to uproot him back here for one day, which would also reinfect the house, so he will stay at the hospital until we head to Green Bay.

Sunday will be insane. I have The North Face Challenge Trail 10k down at Ottawa Lake at 9a.m.. I expect to be home by 11:00, will shower, and then we'll go get Rainey and head for Green Bay. The adoption center is 3 blocks away from Lambeau Field, and guess what? Sunday is the first home game! BUT, it's at 12p.m., so hopefully we won't have traffic issues going or coming back.

Joe saw his doctor today and though rabies is not likely, it is always fatal, so Joe has to receive the rabies vaccine. It's quite a series. Today he received 6 shots. In four days he goes back for 4 shots. After that he will receive 1 shot at the following intervals: 7 days, 7 days, 14 days, 28 days. Yowza! But better safe than dead.

Time to get back to cleaning....

It Ain’t Over ‘til The Sanctuary Calls

Last night Joe and I came to the conclusion that it was best to put Rainier down today and scheduled a 5p.m. appointment. I cried longer than I thought physically possible and then I slept like the dead for 8 hours. Upon waking this morning I felt a terrible weight on my chest. Though everyone assured us that we were doing the right thing and that we’ve given so much to this kitty, deep in my heart I didn’t feel putting him down today was right, nor did Joe. I feared I would be haunted for life by doing this.

Long story short, having gotten minimal work at work accomplished, we found the NO KILL Happily Ever After Animal Sanctuary near Green Bay that might be a viable option for Rainier. They accept cats & dogs with all kinds of health and behavioral problems. Some can be rehabbed and adopted out, and some live out their days at the sanctuary. They are full right now, but if approved, Rainier could be on their waiting list. I had to submit an on-line application with detailed information and will hear back from them in the next week. I tried to wheel and deal a bit too by telling them we wanted 2 kittens and would love to adopt from them if we were to make the trip to bring Rainier there. I’ve cancelled the euthanasia for today, and will bring him home from the ER tomorrow if they give the clear (there’s more stuff they want to do today). We will care for him until the sanctuary thing is figured out. If they can’t take him, then we’ll put him down with a clearer conscience knowing we truly tried everything possible. Here’s the place: http://www.happilyeverafterinfo.org/about_us/

On a related note, I need to mention that last Friday Rainier had a seizure in Joe’s lap. During the seizure he clamped down on Joe’s palm, leaving deep bite marks. Joe treated his hand and it’s healing fine, but it never occurred to us that Joe should see a doctor until Dr. Jackie advised it on Monday. We don’t know that Rainier doesn’t have rabies or some other transmittable viral infection, so Joe needs to receive special treatment just in case. This concern has added more stress to this upsetting situation. And of course by the time we knew he should see a doctor, it was Monday evening, Joe was going out of town Tuesday and wouldn’t be able to get in to his doctor until tomorrow.

Dark Days

Two months ago we were faced with the awful task of watching Dio decline and deciding when was the best, most humane time to put him down. We find ourselves having to make a similar decision now. This is one of the saddest stories I know. Poor Rainier seems to have picked the short stick in life. I'd suspected Rainier was having neurological problems, rather than nightmares, but didn't seem able to convey the severity of his fits until showing Dr. Jackie the video of him having an episode. That was yesterday, and since then my life has dissolved into tears, headaches and heartache.

I called Dr. Jackie first thing Monday to share the web address for the spazzing out video, as well as to report Rainier's conjunctivitis was worsening, and to note he'd been vomiting his food for the past 36 hours. She wanted to see him immediately. After seeing the video, she said there was no doubt that he is having seizures and would need bloodwork to try determining the cause - it could be viral, infectious, fungal, metabolic. She conducted a physical exam and found his URI to still be going strong. In fact, his fever was higher than it was at previous appointments. She described his conjunctivitis as severe - she couldn't see his pupils or iris through his swollen inner eyelids (cats have 3 eyelids). Through vomiting, he'd lost some weight and was dehydrated, so he'd also need subcutaneous fluids. While palpitating his abdomen, she felt his GI tract was "thick and ropey", which could mean many things, and could be connected to his emesis.

After the exam, Rainier crawled into his carrier as Dr. Jackie and quietly talked, and promptly had 4 seizures back to back. This was shocking to Dr. Jackie, but par for the course for me. In the past week Rainey's fits have grown more frequent, to the point where he cannot sleep without having seizures. And when he doesn't sleep, we don't sleep. A bad recipe for all parties involved. Dr. Jackie candidly said, "I'm really worried about this little fella" and went on to recommend he be hospitalized at the emergency vet hospital down the road. There, he would be cared for through the night with IV fluids, bloodwork could be obtained and a cat neurologist could assess him.

I was stunned by this turn of events. Last week he seemed to be on the mend. He was eating, showing more alertness and spunk, but then the seizures increased, the eyes worsened and BAM! Here I am admitting him to the hospital. Bloodwork has come back normal - no metabolic cause for his seizures, so more bloodwork is being done to rule out causes for the seizures. Rainier is a medical mystery - none of the doctors involved have seen this kind of severe activity in a kitten. Whether they can figure out the cause of the seizures or not, Rainier would need to be on life long twice daily medication to try controlling them. The medication may or may not work well. There may or may not be side effects. His conjunctivitis and URI are likely to be chronic. And our desire to have 2 cats is unlikely to be fulfilled. Unless we put Rainier down.

I have spent the better part of two days sobbing over this terrible predicament. We love this little guy so much. Even though we've only had him 2 weeks, the intensity of the caregiving we've had to provide bonded us like people with pets they've had for years. I am sick with the thought that I'm giving up too easily, but Rainier has an uphill battle at best (this was admitted by my vet with my prompting) and his quality of life is questionable. I have spent countless hours and nearly $2000 in two weeks to help him, but sometimes things are out of your hands and wishing them to be different doesn't make it so. Sometimes life really stinks.

Video of Rainier Freaking Out

Click on this link to check out a video of Rainier spazzing in his sleep. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wwfAop_Ekkk

This happens ALL THE TIME. He has two kinds of episodes:

1) He wrestles with anything in his path, clamping his teeth down and kicking with his paws.

2) He springs out of his bed, traveling quite a distance, before landing and waking up.

This video shows the first kind of freak out. Watch and listen closely. You'll hear him growling towards the end and see him biting the carpet.

The Power of Thoughts

I think we all know that our self-talk directly influences the way we feel, and the way we perceive the world around us. That's why cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) works so well - change your thoughts, and you change your life. More people than not, are self-critical and tend to have negative thoughts about themselves and others. These thoughts are typically inaccurate, but if not challenged, lead to negative emotions, poor self-esteem, and so on. So I practice CBT for a living, right? On myself and with my clients, but today I was reminded of how powerful our thoughts are and how even those of us who are highly aware of the thought-emotion-perception process can slip into the rut of negative thinking.

I was out for an 8-mile long run in preparation for next week's 10k. It was a wonderfully peaceful morning run through cool mist. I started out feeling physically strong, and emotionally satisfied that I am at a place in life where I can run 8 miles. This was the first time I've run that distance since completing my May half marathon, so I knew it would be a challenge, but I was up for it. As this rather hilly run unfolded, I watched my pace wane on my Garmin 305, and I felt my legs turning to lead. I began thinking (inaccurately as it later turned out) that I was doing a poor job - that I'd lost a lot of ground from my long runs of the spring, and that I'd be less prepared for next week's race than I'd like to be. I felt heavy and slow. I was aware of these negative thoughts and countered them with positive ones, such as "you're doing the best you can", "at least you're not taking walk breaks", "you'll build up the speed and power you had before, it just takes time", etc. But those thoughts were a bit of a ruse, cause deep down I was disappointed, especially when I got home and saw my pace was a very slow 10:58.

Curious to see how much better my times were during my spring long runs, (looking for evidence to support my negative thoughts about being slow and having regressed with my training), I paged through my running journal, only to find out that I have not lost ground at all, and was actually 5-15 seconds faster than I was 4-5 months ago. In the spring I was thrilled with my times, which had steadily improved from the winter months. The fact that today's run was on par with those runs, instantly took my mood from resigned disappointment to proud happiness. My mood and perception of my running self turned on a dime when confronted with factual information.

So, the next time you find your emotions sliding downward, check your thoughts out - What are yous saying to yourself? Is it negative? Is what you're saying accurate? Are you engaged in catastrophic thinking? What positive thoughts can you replace the negative ones with?

Haunted Cat?

Rainier continues to show signs of improvement. His sneezing and nasal congestion have dissipated, and he is eating 2+ cans of wet food per day (wet food has more calories and nutrients than dry food and is ideal for growing kittens). There is urine in the box, so we believe he’s hydrating on his own now too, though we never see him drink and though the water bowls never seem to get lower. He’s showing more personality in the few moments he is awake, and what we’re basically seeing is a real sweet loving kitty. He follows us from room to room, trotting in a hilarious manner, arching his back to be pet, and when you can’t oblige, he plops onto the floor and rolls around ‘til you take notice. Yesterday, as I was cleaning house, I was stationed in front of the kitchen sink for a few minutes, so he wedged himself between my feet and rested against an ankle. He also has this quirky idiosyncrasy of sticking the tip of this tongue out of his mouth. If you tap the tongue, he pulls it back in.

Rainier’s eyes remain infected, with yellow pus oozing into the corners throughout the day. I spoke with the vet about it today, and she advises we just stay the course with the eye ointment. I also consulted with Dr. Jackie on Rainier’s bizarre sleep behavior. Within moments of falling asleep, he seems to slip into nightmares. We can see his eyes move back and forth with REM sleep while his body twitches and shakes. This lasts for only a moment before he turns into a whirling dervish of claws and teeth, growling and spitting at times. When he turns into this Tasmanian devil, he either leaps mightily out of his cat bed, or if he’s close to us, he grabs hold and you do not come away unscathed. Once he’s awakened, he calms down and is sweet as can be, but this usually lasts just a minute before he’s dead asleep and into another nightmare. I’ve counted 5 or more episodes in one hour. He likes to sleep on the bed with us, but now we’re afraid of those claws and teeth! Last night he snuck onto the bed at some point, spazzed out, lept into the air, landed momentarily on my face (leaving a puncture mark beside my nose), before diving to the ground. When he sleeps in his cat bed next to our bed, we hear him flying into the closet doors, or slamming into the bed. What the heck? Could this really just be nightmares? Is he having seizures? Does he have neurological problems? I raised these questions with Dr. Jackie, who believes it’s truly nightmares and nothing more. We’ll further examine this issue when we take him in on the 20th, but until then, we have another hypothesis: Dio is haunting him. We suspect Dio is pissed that another cat is in the house and is pulling a Freddy Krueger on Rainier by torturing him in his dreams!

4-Day Wind Down

Hello Blog Readers,

So I'm winding down a 4-day weekend. It's been a nice reprieve from the insanity of last week. Each night my sleep duration and quality progressively improved, which seems to correspond to Rainier's improved health status. He's not 100%, but he's sleeping all night without incident, his appetite is increasing, and his infected eyes are looking a little better. Most kittens sleep about 20 hours per day, and he's sleeping about 22 hours per day, but I reckon he needs it to recover. I'd like to see him drinking on his own, as we're still hydrating him, and I'd like to see him more frisky and playful ... hopefully those changes are right around the corner.

We have heard nothing about Gusto/Figaro, despite multiple phone calls to the Kenosha Safe Harbor Humane Society, so I don't think it's going to happen. We still plan to get a second cat - one year old or less - to be buddies with Rainey. Our time frame for doing so is going to be tight. We will be out of town the first week in November and want to have a second cat introduced before we go, so Rainier isn't alone. It may take a month or longer to introduce two cats depending on their personalities and acceptance of one another, and we can't get a second cat until Rainey is healthy, which will probably take us to the late-September time frame. It could all come together if we're lucky!

I got a couple longer outdoor runs in during our time off. It was refreshing to run in cooler weather, but it also meant I couldn't use the heat as an excuse for the quality of the runs. I've been doing a lot of treadmill running through the heat & humidity, and I could feel the lack of foot-to-concrete experience both physically (heavier breathing, a sore knee) and in my pace. I'd been creeping up to 9:40-10:00 minute miles before the heat of summer, and my long runs this weekend were closer to 10:30+ minute miles. Oh well, right? I passed the 800 mile mark in yesterday's 5-miler, and should hit 900 by mid-October. I have a trail 10k (6.2 miles) in 2 weeks, and just registered for the Lakefront Discovery 15k (9.3 miles) held Halloween weekend. And what about Joe?

Poor Joe's foot saga continues. He healed his metatarsal stress fracture all of June & July, and waited until our August vacation was over to start running again. He ran for one week in his remolded custom orthotics, and by the end of that week, he was feeling sore and swollen along a metatarsal that has never been fractured. Dismayed and disappointed, he stopped running and the swelling receded, but now what to do? He's fed up with doctors who don't have answers and orthotics that seem to create new problems. Should he run "barefoot"? Should he have his gait examined and get better shoes? For the moment, he's decided to return to a sports medicine orthopede who he saw over a year ago. This doctor is the doctor for the Milwaukee Bucks and other athletic teams, and is an avid runner himself. It's a place to start, yet again.

Besides sleeping, caring for for Rainier & running, we got a lot of mini projects done around the house, rented some movies ("Inglorious Basterds" = thumbs up, "It's Complicated" = thumbs down), Tandoored with my mom and niece, and enjoyed the thunder/hail storms one early darkened morning.

To Hell and Back

This week has been a test of mental, emotional and physical strength. I introduced everyone to Rainier in my last blog, and mentioned that he had an upper respiratory infection (URI), which is much like the human cold. Well, his URI quickly grew worse, heavily contributing to the stress of the week. With severe congestion and malaise, Rainey could neither smell food or find any interest in it. The same goes for water, so less than 24 hours after entering our home, we had to begin force feeding him food and liquids, as well as dosing him twice per day with antibiotics and a viral supplement. It was just two months ago that I dealt with Dio not eating or drinking as his life began slipping away, so my emotional state was highly reactive - I felt a bit traumatized, scared and angry ... I mean one should expect to have nothing but ease and joy when bringing a rambunctious kitten home, right?

With his tiny kitten mouth we needed to use a tiny syringe to inject the food and fluids, which translated into 30 syringes per day to keep him alive. And of course no cat is a fan of being grabbed by the scruff of the neck and having stuff shoved down his throat, making our job to keep him alive quite difficult. The 30 syringes full of food, water of Catsip milk were given 5 times throughout the day (you can't just dump all of that into such a small body at once!), which required mad dashes home while working insanely busy 9+ hour days. This was quite possibly my busiest week at work in my career, and I'm not exaggerating. I had appointments up the wazoo, crises erupting, obligations that could not be avoided. Continually switching mental gears from client related issues to Rainey's well-being added to the strain. That, and my reduced cognitive capacity due to sleep deprivation.

Every night this week has been dotted with Rainier interruptions - some no biggy, one quite a terrifying moment, most just a matter of hearing him snort and rattle as he tried to breathe. I stitched together 4-5 hours total each night (Joe maybe 2-3), and diligently hit the gym each morning to get my training in - In two weeks I have The North Face Challenge Trail 10k (6.2 miles), so I don't have any wiggle room for missing runs or weight training. Add to this the fact that I physically have had no down time since our rigorous vacation - and have I mentioned that I've lost 9 pounds since our vacation?!

Not only did I sneak trips home during impossible days, I managed to whisk Rainey to the vet two times as well. From the vet we've learned that he is closer to 4 months than 6, placing his birthday in mid-May. We've also been reminded how costly veterinary care is - Close to$350 in one week with $100 of it in medication expenses. Besides the URI, Rainey has an eye infection that requires an ointment treatment every 8 hours. There were moments this week where everything felt unmanageable, and Rainier's illness felt oppressive, but last night, for the first time since we've brought him home, he ate a few morsels of dry food. This is progress. We're still feeding him and hydrating him and doing multiple antibiotic treatments for another 10-days, but maybe, just maybe, he will steadily improve so this load can be lifted. So maybe my blog title isn't 100%accurate. It should read: To Hell, and slowly ambling back.