It’s been a doozy of a year. Can’t say I’d like to experience it again. But there were many positive experiences, lessons learned and personal growth to bank off of in 2010. I’m ending the year on a positive note, running my first 5k race in over a year. I’ll write more about how that goes in my next blog, as there won’t be time after the race.
Post race, I will be zooming home like a bat outta hell to shower and hit the road with Joe for a 5 hour trek to Southern Indiana . Little ol’ Attica is our destination, where we’ll welcome in the new year and new decade with a blue moon (the second full moon within one month) at a party held at a B&B owned by Joe’s friend, Andy. Indiana is on Eastern Time, which works to my advantage – I’m usually unable to stay up ‘til midnight, but we’ll hit midnight by 11p.m. our time, so I might just make it! I wish all of you a fortunate and beautiful 2010….
Looking ahead, I have plotted out a potential race schedule that includes one race per month varying from lengths of 5k, 8k, 10k, 15k and half-marathons, and of varying terrain from street to trail. The schedule may be ambitious, which is why I’m calling it my “Race Options 2010” list – options, not obligations! A preview …. The Waukehsa JanBoree 5k on 1/23/10, which will be Joe’s first race in over a year …and …. I’m thinking of doing the South Shore Half Marathon (it’s only $8) on 4/10/10 prior to doing the Madison Half in May.
This blog captures the unfolding story of my life - my challenges, my joys, my insights and superfluous musings. Check in whenever you can to see what's happening - maybe you will be referenced, or maybe you'll learn something new. And send me your comments... I love feedback!
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Friday, December 25, 2009
A Christmas Call to Joe
MERRY CHRISTMAS to all my readers! If you're in Wisconsin, I hope the dreary cold rain hasn't detracted from your celebrations. Despite the rain, Joe and I decided to get a run in this morning before meeting my family at noon. For the record, this was Joe's first outdoor run since April, when his metatarsal stress fractures put him on the sidelines. Joe ran 2.5 miles - his furthest distance since his comeback from the herniated disc. Yay Joe!!!
Earlier in the week, I spent $200 on winter running clothes. The big ticket item ($110, but on sale for $88) was an awesome running jacket - the Asics Storm Shelter for those of you who care - which is lightweight, waterproof & wind resistant, has reflection panels, inner and outer pockets and ventilation flaps for when you get too hot. I also bought running tights, which are the recommended leg ware on cold days. The tights aren't too flattering on my short muscular (bulky) legs, but oh well!
So, this morning I was looking forward to using this new gear, and was not daunted by the rain. I had a 5.25 course planned - running from home to Frame Park, once around the river and back home. The sidewalks were too risky for running with rain water on top of ice, so I ran down empty Christmas morning streets to the Fox River. I was toasty and dry in my tights and jacket, though my feet were getting quite wet.
When I hit the Riverwalk the first half was just fine, but as I continued to the other side of the river, "ponding" or flooding was present. I ran through some fairly lengthy puddles that were deeper than 3 inches - deep enough to pour over the tops of my shoes. The water was icy, but I thought, "if I can just get past this spell of puddles, I'll be okay and then I only have 2 miles home." Well, the puddles become longer and deeper, and then the puddles became the path for as far as the eye could see. Not good. I tried stepping into snow along the side of the trail, but surprise! under the snow lay several inches of water. My feet began to burn from the cold and I started to get scared. My toes felt like they were getting fat, and I feared frostbite.
Hating to quit my run before it was done, but acknowledging I'd already made a bad judgment call by trying to run through the standing water, I decided to make a good decision, and called Joe to come pick me up (thank god we run with cell phones). Reversing direction and clambering back through the ice water was not fun, and for a time I could barely feel my feet. By the time I made it around the river to the parking lot where Joe could pick me up, Joe was there, and safely transported me home. I only got 4 miles in instead of 5.25, BUT my feet are fine and I learned a valuable lesson.
Once home, we showered up, and met some family members for a low key lunch at Tandoor - an annual tradition. My niece, Marisa, made me a beautiful green, black, white and silver beaded necklace, our favorite dish, Manchurian Gobhi, was on the buffet, and the knowledge that I could try for my 5.25 miles another day, made for a perfect Christmas Day. It's snowing now, and I'm toasty inside. Happy for the long lazy days of a 4-day weekend.
Earlier in the week, I spent $200 on winter running clothes. The big ticket item ($110, but on sale for $88) was an awesome running jacket - the Asics Storm Shelter for those of you who care - which is lightweight, waterproof & wind resistant, has reflection panels, inner and outer pockets and ventilation flaps for when you get too hot. I also bought running tights, which are the recommended leg ware on cold days. The tights aren't too flattering on my short muscular (bulky) legs, but oh well!
So, this morning I was looking forward to using this new gear, and was not daunted by the rain. I had a 5.25 course planned - running from home to Frame Park, once around the river and back home. The sidewalks were too risky for running with rain water on top of ice, so I ran down empty Christmas morning streets to the Fox River. I was toasty and dry in my tights and jacket, though my feet were getting quite wet.
When I hit the Riverwalk the first half was just fine, but as I continued to the other side of the river, "ponding" or flooding was present. I ran through some fairly lengthy puddles that were deeper than 3 inches - deep enough to pour over the tops of my shoes. The water was icy, but I thought, "if I can just get past this spell of puddles, I'll be okay and then I only have 2 miles home." Well, the puddles become longer and deeper, and then the puddles became the path for as far as the eye could see. Not good. I tried stepping into snow along the side of the trail, but surprise! under the snow lay several inches of water. My feet began to burn from the cold and I started to get scared. My toes felt like they were getting fat, and I feared frostbite.
Hating to quit my run before it was done, but acknowledging I'd already made a bad judgment call by trying to run through the standing water, I decided to make a good decision, and called Joe to come pick me up (thank god we run with cell phones). Reversing direction and clambering back through the ice water was not fun, and for a time I could barely feel my feet. By the time I made it around the river to the parking lot where Joe could pick me up, Joe was there, and safely transported me home. I only got 4 miles in instead of 5.25, BUT my feet are fine and I learned a valuable lesson.
Once home, we showered up, and met some family members for a low key lunch at Tandoor - an annual tradition. My niece, Marisa, made me a beautiful green, black, white and silver beaded necklace, our favorite dish, Manchurian Gobhi, was on the buffet, and the knowledge that I could try for my 5.25 miles another day, made for a perfect Christmas Day. It's snowing now, and I'm toasty inside. Happy for the long lazy days of a 4-day weekend.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
17 years
More and more my runs are allowing my mind to wander freely, rather than dwelling on how awful the running feels (and by the way, running never seems too hard or terrible now). In this morning’s run, I realized that today is the 17th anniversary of what should have been the worst day of my life, but has morphed into just one of many significant occurrences in my life.
At 10p.m. on Tuesday December 22nd, at the age of 21, I was raped at gun point by a stranger. I was locking the door to my house when someone came up behind me, placed a gun to my temple and told me not to move or speak or he would kill me. I was sexually assaulted in the parking space behind my house for the next 30 minutes, with the gun always to my head. Fortunately I had alert neighbors who thought they heard or saw something going on behind the houses, and called 911. I didn’t know help was on the way during those long 30 minutes, but lying on the not-so-cold-for-December-ground, staring into a starry night, I had a sense of peace wash over me, and I knew I would be okay – that I wouldn’t be killed, or contract HIV. When police pulled into the drive I took my opportunity to push the attacker away as I sprinted forward calling for help. A night of police and detective interviews and a trip to the sexual assault center ensued. And I was truly alright.
My mom had worked at the Sexual Assault Treatment Center many years prior to my arrival there. I’d heard every conceivable assault story from her over the years, which I believe strengthened me for handling my own assault. That, and the fact that I’d been studying psychology my whole life, left me well equipped to deal with this. My way of dealing with what happened was to tell everyone and anyone who would listen. No dark secrets are kept with me. That sorta thing kills people – eats them up from the inside out. I never experienced anger, I never experienced shame or depression or all the other things you might see on TV. The main thing that has lasted is my sense of hypervigilance. I have a super high startle response, and I believe that something bad can happen anytime, anywhere, which is why I don’t go running at 4a.m. in the summer when it’s light outside. Even though it’s light, it’s an isolated time of day – very easy for someone to grab you into a van!
My memories of that night are still fresh and burned into my memory detail by detail, but my thoughts rarely fall on it. If I hear of a rape, I may think of my own, or when December 22nd rolls around I count the years that have passed. And as I said above, I am alright- More than alright, so please no tears, pity or “I’m sorry’s” from my readers. Oh and the burning question: Did they catch the guy? Not for my rape or the 4 other women he went on to rape after me, but I like to think he’s sitting in prison for some other offense.
At 10p.m. on Tuesday December 22nd, at the age of 21, I was raped at gun point by a stranger. I was locking the door to my house when someone came up behind me, placed a gun to my temple and told me not to move or speak or he would kill me. I was sexually assaulted in the parking space behind my house for the next 30 minutes, with the gun always to my head. Fortunately I had alert neighbors who thought they heard or saw something going on behind the houses, and called 911. I didn’t know help was on the way during those long 30 minutes, but lying on the not-so-cold-for-December-ground, staring into a starry night, I had a sense of peace wash over me, and I knew I would be okay – that I wouldn’t be killed, or contract HIV. When police pulled into the drive I took my opportunity to push the attacker away as I sprinted forward calling for help. A night of police and detective interviews and a trip to the sexual assault center ensued. And I was truly alright.
My mom had worked at the Sexual Assault Treatment Center many years prior to my arrival there. I’d heard every conceivable assault story from her over the years, which I believe strengthened me for handling my own assault. That, and the fact that I’d been studying psychology my whole life, left me well equipped to deal with this. My way of dealing with what happened was to tell everyone and anyone who would listen. No dark secrets are kept with me. That sorta thing kills people – eats them up from the inside out. I never experienced anger, I never experienced shame or depression or all the other things you might see on TV. The main thing that has lasted is my sense of hypervigilance. I have a super high startle response, and I believe that something bad can happen anytime, anywhere, which is why I don’t go running at 4a.m. in the summer when it’s light outside. Even though it’s light, it’s an isolated time of day – very easy for someone to grab you into a van!
My memories of that night are still fresh and burned into my memory detail by detail, but my thoughts rarely fall on it. If I hear of a rape, I may think of my own, or when December 22nd rolls around I count the years that have passed. And as I said above, I am alright- More than alright, so please no tears, pity or “I’m sorry’s” from my readers. Oh and the burning question: Did they catch the guy? Not for my rape or the 4 other women he went on to rape after me, but I like to think he’s sitting in prison for some other offense.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Closure
Today is my day of closure. I have come full circle on this December 17th, and Man-o-Man what a difference a year can make. Today was a day of elation. Last year this was a day of physical pain, fear and darkness. It was a snowy morning one year ago that Joe drove me to my MRI in Delafield. I was in excruciating pain and had to lie on my side in the back seat, as I couldn't bear to sit - walking and lying down weren't much easier. The MRI confirmed my worst fears of having a herniated disc, and created a wave of fear based on "what ifs" - What if I need surgery? What if this pain never goes away? What if I can't work-out anymore? Yet to come after that early morning MRI was a trip to the ER for my pain, two epidurals, many months of rehab and the inception of this blog. Back in January I created this blog to more easily communicate my progress with all of you. It's been a year of steady gains and physical accomplishments, leaving me, perhaps mentally and physically stronger than I was before. In honor of the road I've traveled the past 12 months, I started my day with my first 5 mile run since I resumed my running 4 months ago. It was exhilarating to finish that run, to know I'm a runner again, to know I will go on to do half marathons, 5k's, 10k's, and dare I dream of a full marathon?
Friday, December 11, 2009
Winter Fun
Our first winter storm came at just the right time - leaving enough good quality snow on the ground for Joe & I to enjoy snowshoeing on this planned vacation day. And a wonderful vacation day it was. Actually, it began for me yesterday at noon when I left work to meet my mom for an Indian lunch buffet and then indulged in a 90-minute massage!
But back to today. It was a was a great day - an active day (over 800 calories burned!). We slept in 'til 8a.m. or so, and took our sweet time getting up and into the day. At 6° with icy snowy roads and sidewalks, Joe proposed a plan: How 'bout he drop me off at the gym for my run, while he carried on to Farm & Fleet's Toyland to get gifts for our niece & nephew? Sounded good to me. So instead of freezing and risking injury outside, I sweated out 4.5 miles on the treadmill.
We came home, grabbed some fuel in the form of whole wheat toast with cinnamon sugar sprinkled atop, and then we suited up for snowshoeing. It's the quintessential snowshoe day. Bright blue sky, cold, but no wind. We shoed for an hour at Minooka Park - a local County park less than 5 minutes from home. It's a large park with much diversity - woods, hills, prairies, a small lake and a dog park. The snow was in primo snowshoeing condition and we had the place to ourselves. It was a challenging work-out - excellent cross training. We stuck to no known trails, just followed our hunches on which way to go. We took some awesome photos too, some of which can be found on my Facebook page in the "Winter In Wisconsin" photo album.
Home by 3p.m. for cocoa and a shower. The sun was setting by 4p.m. and a rich glycogen restoring dinner of whole wheat angel hair pasta with a sauce including green & yellow zucchini, carrot shreds, red onion and tofu balls was in our bellies by 6p.m. Now it's off to a lazy night in front of the boob tube.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Let It Snow!
It's the infamous 1, 2 punch. First we have a snowstorm, followed by a precipitous drop in temperatures. My mom on the East Side of Milwaukee literally had no snow, as the winds off Lake Michigan warmed the air enough to make rain. We received 10 inches in Waukesha, and points 10-50 miles West of us got 18 inches of snow! I admit I was a tad disappointed we didn't get more snow, but this will be enough to snowshoe in on Friday - a day Joe and I took off to burn vacation time. Strong winds and bitter cold temps are rolling in. Many people are without power, and ours went out several times today while we were at work. Luckily it's on and we're toasty warm inside. Enjoy this view of our lovely basswood tree in the front yard.
Monday, December 7, 2009
2010 Running Goals
Did I mention I’ve started a running journal? I actually bought a really nice spiral bound one produced by Runner’s World – replete with special tips and pointers each week. It’s a great way to track your goals and progress, to note patterns with your strong vs. struggling days, to track injuries, etc. More than anything, it helps you focus on becoming a stronger runner (and it's fun to total up weekly, monhtly, yearly mileage).
Here are my 2010 Running Goals:
1. Establish a solid running base where running 5 miles in not a big deal (I’m just about there).
2. Do one long run outside every week (I’m doing that).
3. Do at least two interval runs per week (I’m doing that, but want to improve the interval).
4. Do At least one tempo run per week (I’m about to start on that).
5. Get my 1/2 marathon pace as close to a 10 minute mile as possible (My current long run pace seems to be at a 10:54 minute mile)
6. Complete at least one ½ marathon (May 30th, 2010!), at least two 10K’s, and at least three 5K’s.
7. PREVENT INJURY!
Here are my 2010 Running Goals:
1. Establish a solid running base where running 5 miles in not a big deal (I’m just about there).
2. Do one long run outside every week (I’m doing that).
3. Do at least two interval runs per week (I’m doing that, but want to improve the interval).
4. Do At least one tempo run per week (I’m about to start on that).
5. Get my 1/2 marathon pace as close to a 10 minute mile as possible (My current long run pace seems to be at a 10:54 minute mile)
6. Complete at least one ½ marathon (May 30th, 2010!), at least two 10K’s, and at least three 5K’s.
7. PREVENT INJURY!
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Below Freezing
It's a good thing I'm so motivated, because it took a lot of gumption to get out the door in the biting 25° air for my 4.75 mile run today. What does one run in on such a cold day? Well, if you're a seasoned runner, you already know what works for you. If you're not so sure, there's this great site that will help you figure it out (and you walkers could use this site too):
http://www.runnersworld.com/cda/whattowear/0,7152,s6-240-325-330-0,00.html
I wore heavy technical running pants, a heavy zipneck running shirt, a vest, a winter knit hat, and gloves. I was warm enough and feeling good in my run, until I had to wait 4 minutes for a train to pass. I went from sweaty to frozen, and never did regain my warmth in the remaining 2 miles home, despite having some gnarly hills to tackle. Once home, ever so sweet and thoughtful Joe, had homemade cocoa ready to warm me up. And speaking of Joe, he is doing very well. No lingering numbness or tingliness, and next week his running will be up to 1.5 miles.
Yesterday I had my annual performance evaluation at work. It was a glowing review (not trying to toot my own horn, but I'm just sayin'). In my job there are 9 salary steps when you begin, and each year, if your eval is good enough, you move to the next step, which means a $1200 salary increase, as well as the annual cost of living increase. Your annual reviews are conducted in the month you were hired, but after you've completed the 9 steps your reviews always occur in December, and the only raise you get is the annual cost of living increase, UNLESS, your supervisor nominates you for a one time bonus. The supervisor's supervisor has to approve it, and then everyone who has been approved gets a portion of what's in the "bonus pot" that year. It's usually a nominal amount. I hit my 9th Step in March, which means my next review technically woulnd't be due for 20 months - December 2010. But my supervisor was looking out for me, and got permission from HR to do my review now, so I could be nominated for a bonus. Even if the bonus is a negligible, it's nice to be thought of and recognized.
http://www.runnersworld.com/cda/whattowear/0,7152,s6-240-325-330-0,00.html
I wore heavy technical running pants, a heavy zipneck running shirt, a vest, a winter knit hat, and gloves. I was warm enough and feeling good in my run, until I had to wait 4 minutes for a train to pass. I went from sweaty to frozen, and never did regain my warmth in the remaining 2 miles home, despite having some gnarly hills to tackle. Once home, ever so sweet and thoughtful Joe, had homemade cocoa ready to warm me up. And speaking of Joe, he is doing very well. No lingering numbness or tingliness, and next week his running will be up to 1.5 miles.
Yesterday I had my annual performance evaluation at work. It was a glowing review (not trying to toot my own horn, but I'm just sayin'). In my job there are 9 salary steps when you begin, and each year, if your eval is good enough, you move to the next step, which means a $1200 salary increase, as well as the annual cost of living increase. Your annual reviews are conducted in the month you were hired, but after you've completed the 9 steps your reviews always occur in December, and the only raise you get is the annual cost of living increase, UNLESS, your supervisor nominates you for a one time bonus. The supervisor's supervisor has to approve it, and then everyone who has been approved gets a portion of what's in the "bonus pot" that year. It's usually a nominal amount. I hit my 9th Step in March, which means my next review technically woulnd't be due for 20 months - December 2010. But my supervisor was looking out for me, and got permission from HR to do my review now, so I could be nominated for a bonus. Even if the bonus is a negligible, it's nice to be thought of and recognized.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Hello December!
December premiers as a sunny "warm" day for those of us in southern Wisconsin. The past four years, December 1st has seen snowfall to varying degrees, so I count today's balm as an auspicious sign. Today was also a good start to the final month of the year because Dio's lab results came back showing perfectly normal liver functions. There's no explaining why things were looking so bleak, but for now we'll take this good news and enjoy each day with Dio the Terrible, Dio the Great and Dio the Incorrigible!
There are many things I look forward to this month. First and foremost, I am excited to hit the one year anniversary of my herniation diagnosis. That will be December 17th - the start of my devastating back pain and the fears for future athletic exploits. I'd like to do something to celebrate my remarkable comeback when that day arrives -any ideas from the peanut gallery?
Of course one way to celebrate is to have a great run that day, which brings me to the next thing I look forward to this month: reaching the 5 mile mark with my running. Over the Thanksgiving weekend, I logged a couple 4.5 mile runs through our neighborhood, and had more moments of grace where I didn't realize I was running, than moments of thinking how awful the running felt. After 4 months of building, running is becoming easier both mentally and physically.
Speaking of running, for those of you who run and for those of you who abhor the thought of running, I highly recommend the book "Born to Run" by Christopher McDougall. This is a fascinating read that makes a persuasive argument for why humans are meant to run long distances - it's at the very root of evolution and how we survived to become the Homo Sapiens we are today. It's not all about science either - this book weaves the riveting story of a race between the infamous Tarahumara runners of Mexico against the world's best professional ultrarunners. You gotta read this book!
Another thing I look forward to this month is my return to the race scene when I get to run the RACC 5k with several friends on December 31st, and lastly, I look forward to the first snowfall. I can't wait to see Bruce & Dora's blue branches dusted in white and to take my first run in the snow, which my running friends tell me is a beautiful, silent, calming experience.
There are many things I look forward to this month. First and foremost, I am excited to hit the one year anniversary of my herniation diagnosis. That will be December 17th - the start of my devastating back pain and the fears for future athletic exploits. I'd like to do something to celebrate my remarkable comeback when that day arrives -any ideas from the peanut gallery?
Of course one way to celebrate is to have a great run that day, which brings me to the next thing I look forward to this month: reaching the 5 mile mark with my running. Over the Thanksgiving weekend, I logged a couple 4.5 mile runs through our neighborhood, and had more moments of grace where I didn't realize I was running, than moments of thinking how awful the running felt. After 4 months of building, running is becoming easier both mentally and physically.
Speaking of running, for those of you who run and for those of you who abhor the thought of running, I highly recommend the book "Born to Run" by Christopher McDougall. This is a fascinating read that makes a persuasive argument for why humans are meant to run long distances - it's at the very root of evolution and how we survived to become the Homo Sapiens we are today. It's not all about science either - this book weaves the riveting story of a race between the infamous Tarahumara runners of Mexico against the world's best professional ultrarunners. You gotta read this book!
Another thing I look forward to this month is my return to the race scene when I get to run the RACC 5k with several friends on December 31st, and lastly, I look forward to the first snowfall. I can't wait to see Bruce & Dora's blue branches dusted in white and to take my first run in the snow, which my running friends tell me is a beautiful, silent, calming experience.
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