Yoga

Reverse Warrior - Arches National Park

Yoga and I have had a rocky relationship over the past 20 years - approach/avoid, embrace/reject, enjoy/loathe, peace/stress. For the first 15 years of my adulthood, I intermittently tried to like yoga, because I thought it would be good for me. I experimented with teachers and styles, but it never clicked. Like Goldilocks, I could not find a happy medium. Yoga was either too easy and hokey, or too strenuous and aggressive. Some teachers made it into a spiritual odyssey, others made it about the breath, and yet others as a physical way to work through emotions (as in holding sucky poses forever and a day to release feelings being held in the body). I found my temperament and personality ill-suited for yoga - such qualities as impatience, competitiveness and a need to feel like I've had a challenging work-out, did not jive well with the let-go-of-ego, listen-to-your-body message yoga promotes. A message, of course, that I needed and still need to hear, over and over and over.



Tree Pose - Arches National Park



Some years ago, I decided to give yoga another try. I found a teacher and class that I liked, and I stuck with it for 4 years. I learned that I like a more strength-based, athletic flow kind of yoga, and that I like an instructor who pays close attention to form (I want to be certain I'm getting my poses correct so I get the most benefit out of them). I also like an instructor who provides education during class, specifically about the whole of yoga (most people think yoga is about doing poses - this is only one little aspect of what yoga is),as well as on Buddhist and Ayurvedic concepts. One of my favorite reminders from this instructor is that dwelling on the past leads to depression and worrying about the future creates anxiety - being in the moment is the only best option. Of course, being in the moment is easier said than done for most of us, but this is truly the path to relaxation and peace of mind. I'm not one of those people who ramble on about how centering and stress-relieving yoga is (especially because I'm usually road raging within 5 minutes of leaving a yoga class), BUT, I must concede that once we start hitting challenging asanas (poses), all my attention goes to the bodily nuances required for that position (toes straight ahead, pelvis tucked, chin down, etc.) and remembering not to hold my breath, to breathe through those trying times when my legs are burning and my mind says QUIT!  I inevitably do feel more clam, relaxed, focused and centered when I exit the studio.

Last fall, I was beginning to tire of my yoga class. Instead of looking forward to Tuesday nights, it was becoming a source of stress and dread. Joe and I signed up for a class at a local college, which happened to be on the same night as yoga, so I took a break. After 5 months off, I began thinking it was time to return. Not so much for the mind-body aspects of yoga, but for the cross-training benefits it provides me with my running and weight lifting. I was finding my hamstrings tighter than they used to be, and while I stretch daily, often using yoga moves for my stretches, it's not the same effect as truly practicing yoga. I decided I'd return to my instructor's class, when lo and behold, I learned she was no longer contracting with the same site. I let another 2 months pass, and recently did an exhaustive search for a new class to meet my needs. I was fortunate to find a class 5 minutes from home on Tuesday nights (my preferred day for yoga based on my training schedule) and will go to my first one this week. I got myself warmed up and ready for this next yoga chapter on Friday night by attending "Yoga Night Out" with a few friends. This was a 2-hour detoxifying-from-stress class that included the use of essential oils, Ayurvedic teachings, difficult poses and a social hour afterwards. It was a great evening that rejuvenated my yogic spirit.



Warrior III - Arches National Park



Bonus with A Bonus

I've written here before that with Waukesha County, once you've gone through a level system for annual raises (in my category there were 9 levels - I began employment at a level 3, so I maxed out with levels by my 6th year of employment), you only receive a small cost of living increase, if one is even offered. That said, if you have a stellar annual review, your boss can submit your name for a bonus, which is then awarded by the Director of Health & Human Services (HHS) if there is enough money in the bonus pot. This year, my new supervisor, Danielle, gave me an awesome review, wherein I received a high score in the "performance greater than effective" category. At the time of the review, she did not tell me she was putting my name in for a bonus, so I was pleasantly surprised today when she presented me with a letter from the head of HHS notifying me that I'm receiving a bonus of 2% based on my annual salary. This is great timing in light of many expenses - new carpet for the whole house, on-going dermatology bills for Chaco, personal training packages, etc. After taxes this won't be a huge amount of money, but it's a welcome gesture of appreciation. BUT, even better than this, is that Danielle's gone to bat for me by advocating with upper management that they convert my current (lower standing title) job title of Senior Mental Health Counselor, to that of Clinical Therapist, with the purpose of being the lead person handling youth transition cases in our unit (this means kids who are turning 18,and transferring from juvenile mental health services to adult mental health services), which is my area of specialty that I've been cultivating for several years, having a strong penchant and talent for working with younger clients. Things move slow with County government, so this may not happen, or it could take a long time, but it's so awesome to have a supervisor looking out for my best interest. Stay tuned!

Valentine's Stories

Story #1: Months ago, Joe got himself one of those Elmer Fudd ear flap hats. I loved it and said how I'd like one too. I forgot about it, but Joe took note, and presented me with this oh-so-stylish hat... it was an early Valentine's gift that he gave me Saturday before we went to the Candlelight Hike at Lapham Peak. I just ♥ the color, style and pattern, don't you?

Story #2: Many of you know that in November Joe's allegedly indestructible Tungsten wedding ring fell on the bathroom floor and broke. Tungsten is supposed to be stronger than diamonds, but what we've learned since the break, is that Tungsten can also be super brittle, and when it hits certain elements, such as a ceramic tile floor, it can shatter. Three long months of hassles, delays and a naked finger have ended - the correct replacement wedding band has arrived - just in time for Valentine's Day ♥

Story #3: When I came home today, I found a delivery of roses outside the garage door. I knew they weren't for me - we don't do flowers on V-day, and Joe would always send flowers to my work. I brought the arrangement of 1 dozen red roses inside and found the card addressed to the lady who lived here 14 years ago! I called the local mom & pop florist that delivered them, explained that this lady hasn't lived here in 14 years and moved to IL the last I knew. The floral shop came back to pick up the flowers, and brought me carnations for my "troubles". Heck it was no trouble for me  - I felt bad for whoever sent them. Who the hell doesn't know this lady moved so long ago? Could it be an old high school flame? ♥ A secret fling? ♥ A relative slipping into dementia?

Story #4: For those of you who are lonely, running scared, feeling jaded, or just not lucking out in the love department, ask yourselves if fear (conscious or not) is somehow holding you back. This comes to mind on Valentine's Day and as I'm reading an awesome book about fear and how to manage it. In my first blog of 2013, I noted I would let fear be my guide this year - when fear pops up, I will move towards it instead of away, I will heed it's arrival as an opportunity to grow, to push beyond and to be my most authentic self. Well, all of this is being spoken to in the book I'm reading, which I am now going to try selling to you ☺It is called The Fear Project, and here is it's synopsis. Buy it. Read it. It's excellent.

"Who among us has not been paralyzed by fear? In THE FEAR PROJECT, award-winning journalist and surfer Jaimal Yogis sets out to better understand fear – why does it so often dominate our lives, what makes it tick, and is there even a way to use it to our advantage? In the process, he plunges readers into white shark-infested waters, brings them along to surf 40+ foot waves in the dead of winter, and gives them access to some of the world’s best neuroscience labs, psychologists, and extreme athletes. In this entertaining, often laugh-out-loud narrative, Yogis also treats himself like a guinea pig for all of his research, pushing his own fears repeatedly to the limits—in his sport, in his life, and in love. Ultimately, Yogis shares with his readers the best strategies to emerge triumphant from even the most paralyzing of fears."
THE FEAR PROJECT gives readers insight into the following:
+ How fear evolved in the human brain
+ How to tell the difference between “good fear” and “bad fear”
+ How to use the latest neuroscience to transform fear memories
+ Why fear spreads between us
+ How to counteract fearful “group think”
+ How to turn fear into a performance enhancer — athletically and at work

It's Training Time!

Tomorrow kicks off our official 2013 training season. It will be a long training season with 5 half marathons scheduled between April and December (the most we've ever done in one year). Our first race will be the South Shore Half Marathon on April 7th in Milwaukee along Lake Michigan. We've maintained a good running regimen over the past two months, logging 20-22 miles per week, with long runs ranging from 6-8 miles, so we're ahead of the game, not having to start from scratch. We follow the Hal Higdon intermediate training plan and will easily be jumping in at week 5 of his 12 week plan. I've recently had a breakthrough with my "easy" treadmill pace, clocking 9:50 miles with ease and a low heart rate. I'm hopeful that this will translate into a faster outdoor pace as well - typically people are anywhere from 20-50 seconds per mile slower outside then they are on the treadmill.

I'll be starting the training season with a nasty head cold - I've got both a runny and congested nose, sneezing, watery eyes, sore throat and a cough. Despite the annoyances of this upper respiratory infection (URI), I actually feel well. A running rule of thumb is that if the problem is above the neck, you're good to run, below the neck (i.e. bronchitis, GI issues, etc.), you're not. With this rule of thumb in mind, and still feeling physically robust, the danger lies in pushing the body too hard and having that cold slip into something more. Yesterday I ran 8 miles, and later we did some rigorous hiking through snow at Lapham Peak's Candlelight Hike (pictured here). It was a beautiful night - no wind, not too cold, stars overhead - but with more advanced URI symptoms today, I am left to wonder if this is the natural progression of the cold, or if I tipped the scales by being so active. Today: REST = on the couch,with a blankee, a book, Joe and the Boys.

"Opportunity"

Earlier this week I was invited to a special meeting with the Waukesha County crisis workers. I am not a crisis worker, so I knew something was fishy about this. The County has 5 crisis workers right now that handle crises ranging from adult mental illness, to child protective services, to adult protective services. Two of those workers work full-time during the day, two work part-time on the weekends in a 10-hour shift from noon to 10p.m., and one works full-time second shift M-F.

Due to a convoluted contracting system that I won't bore you with, the weekend crisis workers, though they are County employees, were actually employed and paid for their crisis hours by a different organization. That organization has suddenly pulled out of it's contract with the County with little notice - March 1st. That leaves the County in a crunch to have enough crisis workers to staff the weekend hours. The Head Honchos took a head count to see what County worker's could even be tapped for weekend crisis work and I am one of them. In order to be a crisis worker you have to: 1) be on the State issued crisis license that the County holds, and 2) be a LCSW (Licensed Clinical Social Worker - that's me), a LPC (Licensed Professional Counselor) or a LMFT (Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist). I happen to be part of a very small exclusive group apparently, which is how I found myself stressing out at 2p.m. Tuesday afternoon, as the Head Honchos explained their needs.

Note: All of us in attendance are already full-time County employees, so weekend crisis work would not be a new job per se, but an add-on to our current positions. The Head Honchos discussed a compensation package as a work in progress. People doing the crisis work in March will have to accept comp time, rather than pay, as a salary system cannot be established soon enough. They mentioned they would be revamping weekend coverage from 10 hours to 8 hours, and tried to sweeten the deal further by saying everyone would receive an iPad and Smart Phone for conducting their crisis work (tapping into medical records, writing crisis reports,etc.). The whole time they're giving their schpiel, I'm monitoring my internal reaction.

Reaction #1 - No way, no how. I already don't have enough time to spend with Joe (about an hour each weekday), or enough time to chill in life as it is. How would I get my long run in? I can't stay up past 8p.m. on Sunday night or I'll be too tired for personal training with Aaron. I don't want the hassle.

Reaction #2 - Okay, I know I like my routines and am always initially resistant to change. Let's look at this rationally ... I could earn more money (important since paychecks have dwindled with the increased FICA tax and the increased pension contribution Scott Walker insists on), I could acquire some new skills or experiences, this could aide me with a future promotion...

Reaction 3# - Nope, I still don't wanna.

As I was having reaction #3, the Head Honchos threw in a scare tactic - "We're looking for 4-5 people to share the weekend crisis work. Hopefully, there will be enough interest. We always do have the right to change your work hours to include the weekend with two days during the week off instead." At this point my head began to pound. The Head Honchos said they'd be in touch with more info in a week or two. After the meeting, I talked with the others, and most of them were interested, so it seems I may be off the hook. Hopefully I am. If not, I will do what I have to do. When I discussed this with Joe and asked for his thoughts, he too felt it would suck - our weekend time is precious.

de febrero, Febbraio, Février, Februar, Lutego

“February is a suitable month for dying. Everything around is dead, the trees black and frozen so that the appearance of green shoots two months hence seems preposterous, the ground hard and cold, the snow dirty, the winter hateful, hanging on too long.” – Anna Quindlen

This quote, while a bit harsh, does capture how bleak and desperate a month I find it to be. I loathe February, the shortest month of the year that seems to linger forever. Who invented February? The Romans to some degree :)  February comes from the Latin word februum which means purification. In the old Roman calendar the purification ritual called Februar was held on February 15th. ______________________________________________________________
My dislike for February, is all I have for you folks in today's blog. There's not a lot to report, or any cohesive story to share, bullet points of boring tidbits (and I have to dig deep for some of them!) from the past week may be the best I can do.

• Sunday Joe began feeling uggy. Monday he went to see the doc right away (with a suppressed immune system he can't play around) and was found to have Influenza B. He was placed on Tamiflu, skipped working out for the week (not work though), and is feeling better now. Fortunately, I did not get it from him.
• Monday while driving home, I went to squirt wiper fluid onto my salty windshield, to find no more juice in the reservoir. Luckily, I discovered this before a crisis could occur (like driving on the freeway and not being able to see, or having an icy, foggy or snowy windshield to clear).
• Tuesday while driving home, my oil light flickered on for a moment. I read the car manual when I got home. It said the flicker isn't uncommon when coming to a hard stop or idling. I decided to check my oil anyway, and found a bone dry dipstick! It'd been 8 months since I changed the oil!!! How'd this happen? Well, experts recommend changing the oil every 3,000 miles or every 3 months. I was trying out the 3,000 miles angle for a change, and hadn't reached it yet. Live and learn - I'm lucky I didn't destroy my engine.
• Wednesday we smashed all temperature records with a high of 63°!
• Thursday we had snow and highs in the single digits.
• Friday night at the grocery store I stumbled upon a great new healthy snack - Fiber One chocolate flavored cereal squares (eaten dry). Only 80 calories for 3/4 cup, 9 grams of fiber, etc.
• Saturday cold temps and freshly fallen snow forced me to run on the gym treadmill instead of outdoors. It ended up being a great run - I had a riveting book in hand, and increased my pace to a level I didn't think I could sustain, but ended up being quite comfortable with. I'm thinking this has to do with the body being more efficient at certain speeds - sometimes running too slow is harder than running faster. Afterwards, to reward myself for sticking out 7 miles on a treadmill, and to brighten the glumness of February, my monthly pedicure resulted in pure orange toes :)
• Today, Sunday, our new Simmons Beautyrest Firm Pillowtop bed was delivered. Our current queen bed has gone to the guest room, and the old spongy full bed from the guest room has gone to a landfill. Can't wait to climb (and I do mean climb, the new bed is much taller) into bed tonight!

Anybody still awake after this scintillating report???