4, 3, 2, Rest, 1

The blog title spells out the distances of our taper week's daily runs. No speed work, just easy paced runs, getting progressively smaller each day leading up to the Door County Half Marathon next Saturday, May 7th. This 4th annual running of the race begins at 10a.m. in Peninsula State Park, with 1200 runners expected. You can take a look at the race course here: http://www.doorcountyhalfmarathon.com/images/DoorCountyHalfMap.pdf
And see the hilly course elevation map here: http://www.doorcountyhalfmarathon.com/images/DoorCountyHalfProfile2008-1.pdf
We'll spend the weekend at the High Point Inn in Ephraim just minutes from the park. Our suite will have a whirl pool bathtub and a full kitchen, so we can soak our weary bones, and make our own healthy meals. This Inn is one of the race shuttle stops, so we won't have to worry about the limited parking inside the park. We will also celebrate our anniversary in Door County, with our actual 18th anniversary falling on Monday, May 9th.

Besides the easy breezy week of exercise ahead (also minimal weight training), we will be excited to celebrate Chaco & Denali's 1 year birthday on Cinco de Mayo, and hopefully I'll have news soon of a scheduled interview for the Clinical Therapist position.

Change O' Mind

It’s a big deal for me to change my mind. In my OCD world, I tend to make thorough, well thought out decisions or plans that rarely require deviation. It’s also hard for me to deviate from a plan, or even an idea, once it takes root in my mind (and it doesn’t take much for it to take root!) because I feel the need to see things through to the end. Therefore, it’s a sign of growth that I have decided to stay at the WAC (Wisconsin Athletic Club) instead of switching to Gold’s Gym.

I was hot to trot to join Gold’s this week, in fact I had a "joining appointment" set for Wednesday. I returned to the WAC from my 2-week pass fully intending this to be my last week there… and then little gut feelings told me to reconsider. I became aware of the sleepy, calm, quiet 4:30a.m. atmosphere at the WAC, which allows me to ease into the day with the retention of a pseudo sleep zone when my work-out begins. The energy there is comforting. I only realized it after the contrast with my immersion at Gold’s, where the energy is charged with TV’s, music, dazzling paint and equipment, and the enormity of the space holding more people (though it never felt crowded), creating a buzz that zaps me out of that meditative state.

I began thinking about little things that I love about the WAC: the feeling of ownership that comes with 9 years of daily attendance, the warm homey environment akin to the very first gym I joined (some of you recall the vibes at Body Inspired), Spin and the Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving morning, Instructor training programs (I plan to do the yoga instructor training when it’s offered again), the cozy connection with the usual women in the locker room. I realized that the 5:15 class offerings at Gold’s, while more diverse, are not at an ideal time for me, as I don’t have enough time to get my running in before a class – the 5:45a.m. classes at the WAC fit my training needs better. There are the plentiful and higher quality towels to consider, a more direct and flat path to travel on slick snowy mornings, and outside amenities, such as the gas station and grocery store across the street for quick, last minutes needs.

Now some of these last arguments may be a stretch. Of course one could argue for or against anything, and find reasons to support any given choice, but ultimately, deep down, this feels like the right decision for now. Gold’s will always be there. Moreover, I should add that I have chosen to stay at the WAC despite an altercation with a pompous ass of man this week. Here’s the story.

When I run, I use a plastic reading holder that hangs on the front of the treadmill to hold my book. Lots of people use these, and there is no specific spot where they are stored – you just find them on cardio equipment as they are used and left. They don’t take up much space and if you don’t want to use it, you set it on the floor or the machine next to yours. No biggy, right? So, I’ve cleaned off my machine and I’m walking away as this guy (tall, 40’s, balding) is getting on, and he yells after me, “Excuse me, do you need this?” as he holds out the reading rack. Immediately I’m irritated because he is not saying what he really means – he is already playing a game. I reply, “No, I’m done”, turn to walk away, and then the following unfolds:

HIM: “Then put it away!” (his outstretched arm shakes the the rack towards me)

ME: (looking incredulous as I walk towards him) “Are you seriously making an issue out of this?” (dripping with scorn and contempt)

HIM: (in a low snotty tone) “Put it away”

ME: (angry with myself because I am grabbing it to set down instead of hitting him with it) “Wow. You’re a major ass. I can’t believe this is the kind of battle you want to pick.” (said with feigned wonderment and oozing condescension)

HIM: (surprised, possibly attempting a bullying tone) “What did you say?”

ME: “I said you’re a major ass!" (announced in a flat monotone, suggesting this is a common and boring fact)

1:57:30

This is the time it took me to run a hilly 11-mile course through winds of 15-25 mph today. This is also the EXACT same time, to the second, it took me to run this course in the same conditions 6 weeks ago. Talk about consistency, eh?

On my long runs, my mind tends to ruminate over the past week or the week to come, flitting from one event or idea to another, never able to hold onto one train of thought for long, but no doubt processing things for greater resolution. Today was different, as I had a lengthy moment of clarity. An awareness of how perfect my life really is right now punched me in the face (or was that a peak wind gust of 30mph?). I am in the best shape of my life. I have no injuries and no health problems. I am in a meaningful profession, love what I do and have many options for my future. I have a financially comfortable life (a real relief after growing up poor) and want for nothing. I have the perfect match in Joe, great friends and a good relationship with the mother I once actively hated. I have a low stress life - I love my house and neighborhood. I don't commute (in fact, on an average day of just driving to the gym, work & home, I go a mere 7 miles), all the stores and services I need are within a 5-15 minute drive. I have a car that is reliable. I have two healthy, sweet cats. I mean, I have really created a great life for myself, and it seems to be at it's pinnacle right now. I was fortunate to realize this in the moment. It's so easy for us to be caught up in what isn't going right or thinking ahead to the future, that we miss the greatness of the here & now. I'm happy I can appreciate what my life has today, rather than reflecting on it 10-20 years from now, saying "Man, I had it going on when I was 40 and never realized it." Do you realize the wealth in your life right now?

The Gold’s Experience

Change is afoot. After 8+ years as a satisfied member of the WAC (Wisconsin Athletic Club), it looks like I will defect to Gold’s Gym. A Facebook fluke instigated this process. Patty, a gym friend, whom I hadn’t seen in some time, posted that she was headed to Gold’s for a great Spin class. “What? You’re at Gold’s now? (no wonder I hadn’t seen her lately)”, I replied, and from there I was urged to check them out. I did so on line first. I saw that they opened by 4:30a.m.,(a must) had towel service(another must) and offered a better early morning class selection than my gym. My interest was piqued, and an in-person tour followed. I liked what I saw: modern, eye pleasing décor in a spacious flowing environment, so many cardio machines that you are guaranteed to never wait (if you do, you get a free month’s membership), three large group exercise rooms with a dais so the instructor can be seen (a Spin room, a cardio room and a mind-body room), a special work-out space for women only, a cavernous cardio theater (a cardio room that shows movies on a jumbo screen), oodles of weights – machine & free – a pool long enough to make 44 laps= one mile, a hot tub, saunas, smoothie bar and a beautifully appointed locker room (the WAC’s locker room is notoriously filthy and dated).

While I was dazzled by appearances, the location met my needs (10 minutes from home, 2 minutes from work), and the $39 monthly lock-in fee guaranteed to Waukesha County workers (I pay $65/mos at the WAC) heavily swayed my gym-change-o-meter from No to Maybe, I was still uncertain about leaving my WAC friends behind. The members at the WAC are real – friendly, down to earth, fun. BUT, I prefer working out alone and I don’t join gym’s for the social aspect, though it is nice when it occurs. This meant I would need to spend time there to get a feel for the people and the culture of Gold’s … would it be a meat- head joint, a meat market scuz hole, a snooty highfalutin club or another “real” place?

As luck would have it, work just had a health fair with a gazillion vendors, and Gold’s was one of them, passing out 2-week passes. With my pass in tow, I headed to Gold’s this week. I’ve gone twice so far, taking a rowing class, a Spin class, using the weight equipment and treadmills. The people seem real. There are some minor quirks - my gym bag hardly squeezes into the locker, there are no plastic molded book holders to place on cardio machines (so I can read while I run), they only provide you with one towel (I need 2 to work out and two for the shower), but those are not deal breakers. While mulling all of this over last night, I found myself, without thinking, on Amazon.com, ordering a book holder, a shower caddy to downsize what I need to carry in my gym bag, and a swimmers quick dry towel to mop up my work-out sweat. It was after I placed the order that I realized my actions revealed my decision to make the change before my mind had consciously told me so. There you have it. As of May 1st, I’ll be living at Gold’s!

I tend to be superstitious and have had this thought: The last time I changed gyms was when I started my job with the County. Now that I’m changing gyms again, and the Clinical Therapist position has been posted, does this mean I’ll be changing jobs?

Mixed Feelings

What a week this has been! A week of happiness, sadness, anger, frustration, energy, fatigue, hope and acceptance. As the week began, I still carried with me the excitement of my weekend race results. I had a recovery week to look forward to, which meant less working out, a few mornings of sleeping in 'til 4:30, and a sports massage from Angie to recalibrate my body for my Door County training. Work was looking good too with a week of few commitments, that in theory would allow me time to get lots of paperwork done (it didn't play out that way exactly). It was also the week that my co-worker and close friend, Diane, would return to work after an unplanned month off for deep depression. Let me provide you some history before going on with the story.

Diane and I have worked together 8+ years. She was there when I started, and we quickly became friends. We were a perfect match professionally in our approach to mental health treatment and shared many interests outside of work, as well as humor. We'd been through a lot together and relied on each others support both in and out of the office. About a year ago circumstances arose in Diane's life that led her to initiate divorce proceedings. It became complicated, and Diane grew more distracted with the various legal/financial implications the divorce would create. Her effectiveness at work declined while depression crept in. This went on longer than I, or anyone else ever knew, reaching a breaking point in early March, when Diane could no longer juggle it all. Diane began an indefinite medical leave for clinical depression, and her cases were reassigned amongst the rest of us, which is when we realized how bad things really were.

Diane wasn't behind by a little...neglected documentation on some cases extended back 8-10 months. We couldn't do work that needed to be done on her cases without information from the empty charts, and were forced to reveal the condition of the charts to our supervisor. Of course our supervisor should have known about the state of these cases a long time ago from her own QA reviews, but it still left us feeling crappy - like we were ratting Diane out. Missed documentation, if billing occurred, constitutes insurance fraud and our program could be in jeopardy, so we knew this was a huge matter that could result in Diane's firing. I spoke with Diane often during her month's absence and knew how terribly she was struggling. She feared returning to work, and for good reason. Diane returned on Monday, was treated like a criminal for the week (i.e., the locks to her office were changed and she had to be let in by our boss each day, she was timed on completing documents, etc.), and on Friday afternoon, she was fired, and escorted out of the building with a Sheriff standing by.

While we all suspected Diane would lose her job(and Diane, a realist, expected it too) we were shocked to see a Sheriff. This was terribly upsetting. It felt degrading. Harsh. We were also confused and miffed as to why Diane would be made to work all week only to be let go in this fashion. Was the theory to get Diane to finish some necessary documents before letting her go? Or is there some bigger county protocol being followed that we are not privy to? We all left work Friday afternoon feeling sad and sickened. What would happen to Diane? Why was the Sheriff called in?

I spoke with Diane later that night and was relieved to learn she didn't register the Sheriff. Surreal (or distressing, or traumatic) moments cause us to dissociate and we miss glaring details, so it's a blessing that Diane wasn't feeling awful about the Sheriff, since she didn't realize he was there. That helped me sleep better. But, I continue to feel sad. Diane is still getting divorced, she is still depressed, and now she has no job, no insurance. And to further complicate things, I may benefit from her exodus. Diane held the only Clinical Therapist position in our unit, a position I've been trying to get into for years (remember when I interviewed last year for this job classification in another unit, losing out to my nemesis?). If no one already in this job title applies for the position, or is not wanted by my supervisor, then I will be able to apply for it, and who would be better suited than me? It would be an ironic twist of fate for me to finally acquire this job title at the expense of my friend and co-worker. But that's life. Full of twists and turns.

With the major drama at work playing out, there were the other smaller life matters playing behind the scenes as well. The on-going political turmoil here in WI, with the ridiculous charade of missing votes suddenly appearing to aid Judge Prosser in winning the supreme court race (whatever!), the disgusting game playing in Washington with the federal government almost shutting down, Denali starting a sneezy-watery eye stint that required a call to the vet (he's okay, and on an anti-viral gel), the mood dragging cold & cloudy weather, BUT good things too, such as making headway in reserving airfare for our vacation, as well as securing a cushy post-100-miles-of-backpacking-in-a-week night in a Death Valley resort, having a super strong recovery week in which my body bounced back easily, and a great 7 mile run yesterday clocking an effortless 10:23 pace. So, a week of mixed feelings and mixed outcomes. Nothing to do, but to keep moving forward.

PR-Ville

The morning dawned with a cool stiff breeze and menacing looking clouds, which failed to live up to their onerous hype. Joe and I acknowledged the irony of driving 2 miles from our home to the start of the race, and I even entertained the thought of running home after the race to meet one of my 2011 goals to run 15 miles, BUT decided there was another 8 months in which to meet that feat!

I'm guessing there were 500 half marathoners. An hour earlier, about 200 marathoners took off, with the look-out tower at Lapham Peak as their turn-around destination. Word on the street is that the Trailbreakers Marathon is the most grueling in the state (once it leaves the Glacial Drumlin Trail it's rigorous trail running on the Ice Age Trail over hilly terrain). Our race would not be so tough, with a turn-around point still on the straight, flat & scenic Glacial Drumlin Trail (GDT).

The first 3 miles wove through the city streets of downtown Waukesha, always near the swiftly flowing Fox River, with quaint wooden bridges to cross and brick paths to contrast the macadam. A turn up & over railroad tracks introduced the GDT, which is a classic Rails toTrails path most commonly used by bicyclers, which can take you almost as far as Madison. This trail has gentle inclines, but was mainly level. Initially, trees lined the paths, then trees in backyards as we passed houses. The houses grew larger and farther apart as we entered the country, and eventually the houses disappeared in favor of rolling glacial hills and stream beds on either side. It was beautiful and peaceful (except when those damned gabby runners would linger behind you!).

As I continued my way towards the turn around point, beyond mile 7, I passed Joe heading back, looking strong and in good form (and closer to the front of the pack than the middle of the pack). I felt as good as he looked. As I began my road back, I tried not to feel too confident. I was moving well, legs felt loose, cardio was good and my pace was awesome, but I know from experience how it can crumble near the end, so I worked to keep my head in the moment. I was in awe of marathoners who began passing me on the return route - running way faster than me and still looking fresh - wonder if they felt that way? You knew you were being passed by a marathoner, not a half marathoner, if the backs of their legs and shoes were covered in mud. One guy zipped by me in mud coated VFF's!

Back on the streets of Waukesha, I checked my watch at the 12 mile mark, stunned to see I would be coming in under 2 hours and 20 minutes. When you run a race you set 3 goals. The first is always to finish. Then you set a realistic goal and a dream goal. My dream goal was to finish in 2:15, my realistic goal was to finish in 2:22. I clocked out at 2:17!!! (an overall 10:30 pace) This was an 8 minute improvement on my previous Half Marathon PR, and I was thrilled. (and of course I thought, "hmmmmm, if I hadn't taken those two 30-second breaks at the aid stations to drink water, I could have finished in 2:16 - just a minute slower than my dream time).

There's no better feeling than when you cross the finish line and stop moving. Volunteers crouch along the finish chute to retrieve your timing chip, while others put the finishers medal over your head, as yet others direct you to the food and water (and beer - yuck). I made my way inside the Scheutze Rec Center to find Joe, first bumping into a woman I do yoga with (she's so good, she qualified for Boston last year), and then greeting Joe with news of my PR only to learn he PR'd too!

Joe finished in 1:53 (an overall 8:37 pace), and this included him interspersing walk breaks after mile 11!!! Since today was scheduled as an 11-miler for Joe before he decided to do the race, he thought the most prudent thing for his feet and back, would be to take it down a notch for the last two miles.

So, we're showered, stretched, soaked (feet in Epsom's), and stoked :) Are we ready to do it all again in 5 weeks on a much hillier course? Let's just take it one day at a time!

Multi-Planning

It's a good thing I'm such an OCD type person, as it predisposes me to excel at doing many things at the same time through precise plotting and planning. Lately my brain is on overdrive with developing Recovery Plans at work, creating running plans at home, and planning vacation details now that we've secured our wilderness permit for the High Sierra Trail.(couple pictures of the trail I snagged off the Internet - the people in them are random)

While I've put in all the training for my race tomorrow, I've been busy plotting the next 5 weeks of training, which will be critical to my performance in the Door County Half Marathon May 7th. In 5 weeks, I need to meticulously recover (usually you take a full 2 weeks, but I need to trim that down), build up (ideally with another 2-3 weeks), and taper again (preferably 2 weeks). You can see by these numbers, I have 5 weeks to incorporate 7 weeks worth of training. It can be done! It will be done! The plan is in place, which frees mental space, when away from work, to coordinate vacation plans.

Travel will be complicated and expensive this year. We need to fly to Vegas, rent a car, drive 8 hours to Sequoia Kings Canyon National Park (in CA), reserve 2 nights at a campground there, arrange shuttle service, and book a hotel somewhere between Lone Pine, CA & Vegas, as well as one night in Vegas. The most difficult aspect is planning the shuttle service, which is something I've been working on for weeks now - how we will get from one end of the trail to the other.

We begin the trail on the West side of the Sierra Nevada, and end on the East side of the mountains about 100 miles later. So, we need someone to take us to the starting point and have our car waiting for us at the ending point. Well, the guy running the Mt. Whitney Shuttle Service, Bob, has presented me with a gazillion ways of doing it over the course of multiple phone calls. Each time I think we’ve whittled it down to a decision, he throws in another option.

And Bob is a slow thinking, slow talking kinda guy, which makes me crazy. I feel like I'm playing the role of the stereotypical impatient city dweller and he's cast as the lackadaisical time-unaware mountain dweller. I'm beginning to dread calling him and having the conversation drag on - especially when I think I’m calling to arrange the final plan, only to be given more ideas. The idea we’re liking the best now is this: We drive ourselves to the trailhead and hide the key. Bob or one of his guys, will come get the car when we’re half way through the trail (this means if some catastrophe happened early on, we could hike out and not be stranded) and deliver it to the end of the trail, so it’s there waiting for us. This would cost about $850.

Airfare isn't looking much better. To fly into Las Vegas we’re looking at over $400 each! Vegas was always so cheap, but all airfare has skyrocketed this year (incidentally, did you know Tuesdays are the best day to purchase airfare deals, and that Wednesday & Saturday are the cheapest days to fly?). Needless to say, this will be one of our more expensive trips – upwards of $2000+. I have a friend taking a package tour to Italy for less than that! But whatever, this is a dream trip that we've waited years to do.

Time to get back to planning :)