Medical Scares, Affairs and Repairs

SCARES:
My previous blog detailed my vacation report sans one detail. As I prepared for bed our last night in Salt Lake City, I had an itch in the area where the arm, armpit and upper breast meet, and while scratching myself I felt a Milk Dud sized lump. I began to sweat, my stomach turned over with a wave of nausea and in my head I went to the grave and back in a matter of seconds. I tried to tap into my rational mind: I have no family history of breast cancer, my mammogram last year was good, I’ve been a vegan for 19 years, an avid exerciser for 22 years and have no significant risk factors for developing cancer. Continuing with this rational line of thought, I brainstormed possible explanations for the lump – a lymph node? a cyst? a benign tumor? a muscle strain? The rationality quickly ran its course, replaced by fear and anxiety that squelched my attempts to have a good night’s sleep. The one thing I could hold onto was knowing I just happened to have my annual mammogram scheduled 5 days later. The next day as we bustled through airports, I looked at all the women differently, wondering if any of them have or had breast cancer, wondering if I was one of them, envying them for their seemingly easy carefree lives. Being home, back in familiar territory with familiar things helped me refocus, and my mammogram appointment was suddenly here. The news was reassuring. I'm okay. The mammography team was very thorough, comparing last years images with this years, and completing an ultrasound. The explanation I received for what I was feeling is this: a breast has layers - skin, then fat, than lumpy bumpy tissue, and beneath that muscle. The area in which I felt a lump has no sheath of fat over it, which typically smooths out the lumpy bumpy texture of the tissue below, so I was feeling normal breast tissue and/or a nearby lymph node. To be assuage any further doubts, they will have me return in 6 months for a follow up exam.

The other medical scare of the week has not been resolved, and has to do with my mom. Earlier this year she began to notice an achy feeling in her shoulders/chest/collar bone area when trying to run or when her cardio output increased. A stress test and consult with a cardiologist has found her heart is not pumping as hard and well as it should, there is a stenosis involved (narrowing of the artery), which necessitates a cardiac catheterization next week Thursday to see what's amiss. An echocardiogram was done this week so the doctor will know what to expect when he goes in. If he finds one or two smaller blockages, he may immediately insert a titanium stent. If he finds more that one or two blockages, or any other serious problem, she will need bypass surgery, a procedure that would allow her to join her brothers and the Miller Clan in the I've-got-the-shitty-heart-disease-gene. At 70, Miss Juanita has been the picture of good health - maintaining a healthy weight, exercising daily, consuming a healthy diet - so there is little she can do to change her lifestyle, this is purely a DNA issue. Needless to say, this is scary stuff, and has left her a wee bit spooked. So, thoughts, prayers, energy beams, or whatever you have are being solicited. Stay tuned!

AFFAIRS
This is not a scare or a crisis (Jane, if you're reading this please know this isn't a big deal), merely a mundane, but annoying medical matter that has begun to interfere with comfortable sleep and weight training. For a long long time Joe's left shoulder has been a bother - tight, sore. - most likely an injury from who knows what. Massage has helped it minimally. Recently his neck has gotten involved in this situation, referencing a pain into his arm. This told us it is likely a pinched nerve in the cervical spine. Joe saw his spine doctor this week, x-rays were taken (results not in yet) and a suspicion of a narrowing around the nerve to his left arm at the C4-C5 vertebrae was enough for a round of physical therapy to be ordered. Stay tuned!

REPAIRS
It dawned on me that I haven't followed up on Aunt Shirley's outcome since her close brush with death and hospital discharge. She is receiving in-home physical therapy to strengthen her legs, nursing contacts to monitor her lungs (they're in great shape) and overall health functioning, and assistance with groceries, laundry and housework from my sister, Karen. She is generally in brighter spirits and determined to remain in an independent living setting. Stay tuned!

Expectations vs. Reality (Vacation Report)

Back from the beautiful state of Utah with a lesson in going with the flow, accepting the moment, staying open to change. Nothing played out as expected, but our vacation was still good.

Here we are at the start of the half marathon.

Expectation #1: While I knew I would not PR in the Canyonlands Half Marathon (given my recent injury, the altitude, etc.), I suspected I would do well, possibly finishing in 2:20 or so. That did not happen. In fact, I ran the worst race of my life, finishing in 2:32. Here's what happened. I woke up race day with a sore outer left knee, which became my undoing somewhere after Mile 6. I've had no knee problems in training, and what hindsight suggests to me is that my Teva's were not sturdy enough for our several miles of walking around Moab the day before. Once my knee pain started, it worsened, enveloping my entire leg, and at times would completely seize, rendering any movement (including walking) impossible for a few moments. I had to stop and walk often, though walking was just as painful. When the race began, I was ahead of the 2:20 pace group (my half marathon PR is 2:14, so things looked promising in my first 6 miles). Once my troubles started, I had to watch the 2:20 pace group pass me, and eventually the 2:30 pace group as well. While it was utterly frustrating, and a bit demoralizing, I pushed on, determined to finish. My knee aside, other factors impacting my performance included sustained winds of 20-40mph, the hot canyon sun (I'm used to training in the 30°'s) and the altitude (4000ft), which increased my heart rate greater than usual. Joe encountered the same barriers (except for his knee), had to walk at times to bring his heart rate down, but still finished strong in 1:55 (his PR is 1:40), amongst the top 25% of runners, placing 679 out of 3240!

Shuttles took us to the start of the race about 2 hours early. The sandstone hillsides were covered with colorful dots, as racers huddled in the chilly wind - stirring up sand and pebbles that hurt when hitting your bare legs, crunched between your teeth, coated the inside of your nose and gathered in the corners of your eyes. The course was beautiful and mainly downhill through a winding canyon of imposing red walls contoured by the Colorado River. Aide stations were placed every two miles, and at mile 10 we were treated to the deep ricocheting primal sounds of drummers - a mainstay of this race.

Once I crossed the finish line, my leg was totaled. I went to the medic tent, had my knee wrapped in ice and was told I had IT Band tendonitis. I would spend the next 2 days icing and compressing my knee every hour. As it turns out, Joe woke the day after the race with the same knee issue, and was my partner in icing and hobbling around. Fortunately, we had an awesome home away from home in which to convalesce. This is a shot of our incredibly inexpensive Morris' Last Resort cabin, which leads to expectation number 2.

Expectation #2: Better weather in March can be found in southern Utah than in southern Wisconsin. Bah! Our first 2.5 days in Utah were warm and sunny (this made Friday, a day of bumming around the very cool "green", artsy, granola, outdoorsy mecca of 4,000, a lot of fun, and provided decent race conditions), but we were bombarded with frequent weather alerts that a big winter storm would descend on Utah Sunday & Monday. Well fuck, Sunday we were slotted to camp at the trailhead of our backpacking route, so we could hit the Chesler Park trail in Canyonlands National Park on Monday. With snow, continued strong winds, temps in the 30's and bum knees that could barely carry us 4 feet, we were forced to change our plans, which ended up being a true blessing - a forced time out.

We were able to secure 2 extra nights in our warm, dry, comfortable cabin. This enabled us to properly treat our knees and to rest. I slept 8-10 hours each night, our knees improved, and I felt better rested than I have in possibly years - yes, years! I got 2 books and a magazine read, we watched movies and interesting cable shows, cooked for ourselves, and all in all, enjoyed lying low. From this change of plans came one niggling worry - that we were missing out on a great backpacking experience. With only 2 days left, we could do some day hikes only. This lead to the final expectation that fooled us.

Expectation #3: Boohoo, it sucks that we can't backpack Canyonlands (pictured here).

Sunday, as promised, turned cold and windy. It rained most of the day and a dusting of sleety snow fell that night. Monday morning we awoke with functioning knees, and the sky, though constantly roiling with clouds and sun breaks, inspired us to get out and hike. We went to Arches National Park, revisited many of the sights we'd been to in 1995, and hit some new vistas too. The sky provided an excellent backdrop for photographing the landscapes (nothing pictured here), and we were able to hike about 6 miles before our knees felt a little tweaked. It was a good day - an unexpected day of peace and beauty.

Tuesday we set out for Canyonlands - one day hike and one night of camping before driving back to Salt Lake City for our flight home. The hike was hellacious - much harder than anticipated, which made us grateful that we weren't backpacking. The terrain was constantly up and down sloped slabs of rock, the trail delineated by cairns that were sometimes hard to find. A missed turn at one point added an extra 3 miles to the hike, a feat that was both mentally and physically draining. We hiked the route we would have taken to our first night of backpacking, including a dicey scramble over snowy/icy rocks, and found the final destination sub par, not worth the effort. We were relieved that we had not missed out on a great backpacking experience after all. This should give you an idea of the difficulty of this route -it took us 7 hours to hike 13 miles! The sun was ready to set by the time we got to our campsite, and the temps were quickly plunging to 30°. It was a cold, awful night in which my body ached from being held in a tight shivering ball, and in which little sleep was to be found. Couldn't wait to get the hell out of there in the morning.

The best part of going away is coming back. How I love to be home!

Utah Bound

Almost time to vamanos. A March vacation feels foreign, as I’m accustomed to late August trips. My internal clock for travel preparations typically goes off 3-4 weeks before our departure, firing my neurons to make connections to the parts of my brain responsible for multi-tasking the multi-faceted process of taking leave. That clock was on snooze as March approached, so the past week or so has been a frantic push to organize work, home, and travel needs without forgetting anything. Packing for a backpacking trip is a long tedious process. This time we also have to plan our running gear and our ambling-around-town-and-travel-gear as well. It’s crazy making, especially when the weather conditions will span sunshine to rain, temps ranging from the 70’s to 20’s, and a two piece luggage per person limit!

Am I excited? Eh. Truth be told, I don’t feel super confident or prepared for Canyonlands. I know I’ll be able to do it, but it may not be pretty. I’ve been taking too many 10-20 second breaks during my runs – it’s become a bad mental habit that started as a real physical need to take a break when I was coming back from the hamstring strain. I will try to just enjoy the race and the scenery and not judge my performance on pace. I will try to be grateful that I can run, and assure myself I’ll continue to get better as the year wears on. I mean really, it’s only been 2.5 months since I started training after my hammie healed.

The backpacking portion could be great and it could be awful. Awful if we get the forecasted rain. The “trail” we’ll be on is not a traditional trail worn into the ground, as much as it is trekking over sloped slabs of red slickrock, following rock cairns to find our way. Slickrock gets its name for a reason – it’s terribly slippery when wet, so rain in this terrain could be a literal pain in the butt if we slip and slide. Then it could be called Sliprock. (The term slickrock was actually first coined when settlers found their horseshoed horses had trouble gaining purchase on the barren expanses of rock).

So stay tuned folks – there will be tales to tell when we return!

Birthday Girl

Another year older and loving it. Of course it doesn’t hurt when a co-worker 8 years my junior sincerely exclaims that I look younger than her, or when I am able to buy size 6 pants for the first time in my life (reversing the usual trend of the woman who wears a 6 at age 25 and a 14 at age 41!), or when I feel more and more comfortable with myself in most situations life throws at me. Aging takes an edge off my sharp demeanor, I grow more pliable, less judgmental, more content.

The week began on a positive note, setting the tone for my birthday celebration. After running 11 miles Sunday, I was utterly drained. I couldn’t imagine how I would get through personal training 14 hours later, but 7 hours of solid sleep restored my energy, and I nailed a challenging hour long session with Aaron. Joy, feeling strong like bull! I continued on my way, arriving to a quiet workday – no calls to return, no client crises. I took a moment to check in on Aunt Shirley, and was shocked to learn she was taken off the ventilator the day before, and was doing so well that a transfer out of the MICU was being sought. The way things were looking at the end of last week made me seriously fear that she could die, and possibly do so on my birthday. This good news was a massive relief. My birthday eve ended with a relaxing pedicure that prettied up my feet with Canyonland-esque colors for vacation.

My actual birthday was low-key, but wonderful. We experienced our first 60°+ day, allowing me to wear a new birthday outfit that included one of those kimono-sleeved flowing shirts that are the spring rage. I was bombarded with birthday wishes from the moment I arrived at the gym, to my co-workers throughout the day (with special gifts from my closer work friends), to yoga-mates after work and 70+ Facebook shout-outs. When I got home, Joe was there with Manchurian Gobhi carry-out, a pile of awesome presents and my traditional brownie and vanilla ice cream dessert. This is the kind of guy Joe is: Sunday, when I went out for my 11-miler, despite his illness-induced fatigue, he zoomed around baking brownies, Febreezing the house to remove the baking odor before I returned, stashing both the brownies and the pan they were cooked in in the basement (to be washed at a later secret time), and returning to the couch as if nothing happened when I walked in the door.

The positive trend continues with Joe feeling a little better each day. He has confirmed that he will be able to have his Remicade infusion this Friday, so that worry can be scratched off the list. I saw Aunt Shirley yesterday and she is looking healthy – sassy and spunky as usual – facing a possible discharge home sometime next week. Vacation is a week away (this is both stressful – there is so much to do! – and exciting – we’re going to Moab to run the race we dreamed of doing last year!), winter seems to be over (50’s and 60’s forecasted next week), my tattoo is healing nicely, Susan is moving back here next week, I’m having lunch this weekend with one of my oldest dearest friends of 35 years (Laura aka Lola Havargo), and the icing on the cake? This morning the receptionist calls me to the front desk for a delivery. There before me was a beautiful spray of flowers, and a package with a huge Mylar turtle (whom I’ve named Stan) attached to it. Inside the package was a generous and thoughtful array of gifts. Who sent this? Another treasured, tried and true friend, Diane. Birthdays, I dare say are similar to funerals, in that you find out who really cares. Too bad we don’t have them every day :)

Trials and Tribulations

What a long and trying week. Most of you know that Aunt Shirley was admitted to the MICU (Medical-ICU) at Froedtert on Monday 2/27 with left lobe pneumonia, an elevated INR (this relates to coumadin levels - a high level corresponds to blood that is too thin, which could cause internal bleeding and all sorts of problems), and an e-coli bacteria based UTI that turned into sepsis (blood poisoning). Of course, Shirley had been getting progressively ill at home the week prior to her admission, but through stubbornness, an attitude, denial and fear, it was not until she couldn't breathe that she took action, calling my sister Karen to rush her to the ER. Shirley's condition further deteriorated each day in the MICU, culminating in the need for a breathing tube. She was placed on the ventilator Friday afternoon and remains on it today - this allows her lungs and body to take a rest. Both the pneumonia and blood poisoning are static at this time - no better, no worse. Her status is serious - young healthy people die all the time from either condition - and her multi-faceted physical health issues only complicate her ability to fight. Things remain touch-n-go, but doctors express guarded confidence that she will pull through. We'll see. All the thoughts and prayers that family, friends and FB peeps have been sending have to be making a difference. If Shirley pulls through this, I believe she'll be on life 14... or is it 15?

While the scares and uncertainties of Shirley's condition played out during the week, life went on. Work was crazy busy with client's landing in jail, requiring inpatient hospitalizations, and needing my attention period. Mid-week, Joe developed a cough and congestion, normally not a big deal for people without a suppressed immune system. For Joe, however, these things have to be treated and addressed immediately so they do not become something bigger. Prescribed antibiotics and Floragen3, Joe peaked with miseralability (is that a new word?) yesterday, showing some improvements today. The stressful thing about him getting this nasty cold is that it could delay his Remicade infusion this Friday. Remicade cannot be given if you're sick. If his infusion is postponed, he would have to go an extra 2-3 weeks, as we'll be on vacation, and if he doesn't have the med every four weeks, does that leave him more susceptible to a colitis relapse?

Joe's cold has taken him out of training since Thursday while my training amped up again - hitting it hard with Aaron as my overtrained status resolved, and nailing 26 miles for the week, including one long, tiring 11-miler today. Heavy wet snow Friday night kept me from doing my long run on Saturday - running 3-5 miles in snow? Fine. Running 11 miles in snow? Hell no. Here's to an easier week!