To Run or Not To Run ... That Is The Question

I diligently took 10 days off from running, spending my time cross training cardio on the elliptical, Spin bike and speed walking. Yesterday was my first venture onto the roads - an early morning (BTW, it's now light-ish at 5a.m.) run with Rosanna. We met at the gym and headed into the surrounding residential neighborhood. Things initially felt fine, and I was pleased to note no loss of cardio conditioning, but by mile 2 my knee was getting tight and I needed to stop to stretch. As we approached mile 3, it began to tighten again, so we called it a day. Inside the gym, stretching and foam rolling out my legs, I shared my woes with my running guru, Ken. His counsel: Don't run the race next weekend. WHAT???? My heart fell to the floor, and then began to ache a bit as there was a resonating truth in what he said. I decided it was time to find an orthopedist to examine my knee so I know exactly what is going on and how to fix it. I admit I spent an hour of work time researching local orthopedes, trying to find a combination of a sports medicine doctor with a high rating in a clinic close to work and home. If possible, I wanted to stay within the Froedtert family for ease of coordination of care. My efforts yielded a most promising fit -Dr. Noon, a new young female sports med orthopede (specializing in female athletes) affiliated with Froedtert Hospital, but practicing at a satellite clinic within 10 minutes of work and home, and to make this fit feel like kismet, I was easily scheduled for a noon appointment with Dr. Noon (hee, hee) for Tuesday 5/1. I will let Dr. Noon advise me on whether or not to run the Cheesy Half Marathon.

After I secured this appointment, I continued to ride an emotional roller coaster throughout the day - as an athlete, when things aren't going smoothly, your hopes and fears born out of unknowing keep you riding on waves. You become hypervigilant to how your problem area feels with every move - I got out of the chair and my knee feels good, maybe I'll be okay! My knee just tweaked as I bent to scoop cat litter, maybe I won't be able to run the race! These kinds of thoughts and assessments just go on and on.

My wave crested in a high during my monthly chiropractic appointment when I had Dr. Jackie examine my knee. She found my joint to be fine, and thinks some of my tightness (it's located in the lower outside portion of my left knee) is coming from a really tight TA (Tibialis Anterior - a muscle that runs along the outside of your shin). She gave me a deep ultrasound-stim treatment, and my leg/knee felt better.

A few hours later, on my way to see Angie Man Hands for my pre-race massage, my wave began to crash as I thought, "really, if I was feeling a problem at mile 2, how can I realistically run 13 miles?" And the thing is, I can't just run this race and blow up my knee, because 7 weeks later I have the Summerfest Rock-n-Sole Half Marathon, so I need to be smart and prevent injury. Angie, a keen and intuitive therapist, found the tendon (emanating from my hamstring, running behind the knee) that seems to be troubling me. She worked that area, as well as my TA, and my knee's tightness melted a bit. I was back on a high wave.

This morning I suited up and headed into the cold, misty grey day with hopes of running 9 miles. I hit rock bottom by 1.5 miles - how the heck could my knee already be stiffening??? Utter feelings of defeat - there is no way I can run next week. And then I futzed around with my form, and connected into an altered way of running that seemed to engage my left hamstring-tendon in a way that did not hurt my knee. I purposefully flexed my feet as I ran, pulling my heel up with intention with each push off. To not overstress the knee, I instituted a mandatory 30 second walk period after each mile marker, and this is how I came to finish 9 miles. Now I have some hope that I can run next weekend. It will not be a fast race, but I could finish.

That said, I need to see how my knee feels tomorrow - the fall-out from a long run usually takes 24+ hours to reveal itself. I've been icing and Arnica-ing since I came home. If I'm not hobbled tomorrow, maybe The Cheese will be a go. And maybe it won't. Maybe Dr. Noon will give me her blessing, or maybe she will warn me of horrible tragedies that may arise if I do. It will be an 11th hour decision whether to run or not to run ....

Hey Blog Readers!

Two weeks out of computer commission thanks to AT&T. It's a long sordid tale of incompetence, ineptitude, monopoly and angst, but at long last we are back in business. There have been many things I would have blogged about during my Internet absence, now I'll just give you the Cliff's notes versions.

JOE: Joe has spent much of the past 2 business weeks in Connecticut on business. His first day at the CT facility there was an overpressurization gaseous chemical release. No one was injured, but this was a HUGE deal with Hazmat teams and other emergency responders on the scene for the entire day and into the night. This kicked off the start of many intense days of food, water and sleep deprivation for Joe as he worked around the clock for his client. In the midst of this Joe has squeezed in physical therapy and traction for his neck/shoulder issue, and oral surgery for a receding gum (this required a soft tissue skin graft). Though fatigued, under the influence of pain meds (mainly makes him more tired), and in desperate need of some down time, Joe is well.

ME: Since Canyonlands when my knee betrayed me, my tendon has continued to rebel in long runs beyond 7 miles. Last week Rosanna and I were cruising through a 10-miler, and around 7.5 miles in, my knee seized up just as it did in Utah. I had to take many walk/stretch breaks in the final miles home. I rested Sunday and Monday, after running 3 miles, I began to feel my knee tightening. I discussed it with Aaron and he recommended I take 2 weeks off running to rest that tendon from overuse. Naturally, this freaked me out as I have the WI Cheesy in 3 weeks. Relying hard on my rational mind to overrule my emotional and obsessive mind, I compromised and committed myself to 10 days off running, while still cross training. This proves to be most difficult. Yesterday, instead of an 11-mile run, I went out for a 6 mile "power walk" (sub-15 minute mile pace). As I neared Mile 5 my desire to run the last mile home was as strong as an abstaining alcoholics desire for a drink. I called Joe (in this instance he was like an AA sponsor) to talk me down.
ME: Could I just run the last mile home?
JOE: NO!
ME: How 'bout the last 1/2 mile home?
JOE: NO!
ME: A few blocks?
JOE: NO! It's not worth it. Take the full 10 days.

FAMILY: Aunt Shirley was hospitalized again last week. She has been unable to care for herself since returning home in March, but has stubbornly refused increased home supports, missed or refused doctor appointments and eventually failed. Once in the hospital, and with the backing of the rest of the family, I contacted the unit social worker to let them know what is really going on at home - that Shirley is conducting her entire life (and I do mean entire) on her couch. I asked that they send her to rehab for strengthening, and they did. She is now at Menomonee Falls Rehab Center. She is severely depressed, just wants to die, is cantankerous, mean, and exhausting to speak with (if she'll even take your call). After years of issues with Shirley I feel I've reached my I-don't-care-and-I-can't-be-involved-anymore place, and am backing away.

My mom is doing well with her new stent, but landed in the hospital for an overnight stay due to a GI bleed. With the stent, she will need to take aspirin everyday for the rest of her life, and it is the aspirin that caused the stomach bleed. She needed 3 pints of blood, and will return to the hospital this week for an endoscope to pinpoint exactly where the bleeding is occurring. There is talk of bypassing the GI tract with an aspirin suppository instead. That sounds dreadful to me, but mom doesn't bat an eye over this.

WORK: The client who was in ICU died this week from complications with myocarditis, sepsis, kidney failure, and pneumonia. He was 26, had lived with schizophrenia for 10 years and had just experienced the happiest year of his life. I take solace in knowing he went out on a high note in his life. I contrast his short life, which so many people mourned just because of his age, to that of Aunt Shirley who has greater longevity, but finds each year more miserable than the next. My other client who stopped taking his meds, ended up driving East as voices were telling him to go to NY. He packed up his car and took off last weekend. He had a single car accident, rolled his car down a ravine in Maryland (walked away without a scratch!) and is in a MD psychiatric hospital at this time. It was a crazy, topsy turvy week.

No Tengo Nada Que Decir

Translation: I have nothing to say, and I guess that falls into the category of no news is good news. I have small life updates I can share - nothing riveting or too interesting, but in the spirit of blogging at least weekly, here we go.

My mom's cardiac cath went well, and no bypass surgery will be needed. Her cirumflex artery, which feeds the back of the left ventricle is moderately blocked, so she will have a stent placed in that artery on Tuesday - a procedure requiring just a one night hospital stay. Everyone is relieved (especially since it was beginning to feel like our family was having a cursed medical year with Uncle Tom's death and Aunt Shirley's closeness to death), but none more than Juanita. She should be getting back to a normal life in time to still do her Dirty Girl race in August :)

Races, racing. Joe and I have the Wisconsin Cheesy Half Marathon approaching quickly. It's May 5th, along the lakefront in Kenosha. We had a 9-mile run this weekend and felt strong, though we both continue to have tweaky knees since Canyonlands. I'm also burdened with plantar fasciitis of the heel, which can become painful and unable to bear weight at times. Angie Man Hands and my chiropractor have both said my knee is basically fine, and that the seizing up I'm experiencing is attributable to overuse. But how do I reduce my use when I'm amping up for another 13.1 miles? Fingers and toes are crossed that I don't have a repeat of our Utah race in Kenosha!

Joe's x-ray found degeneration of the spine at C5-C6, a normal part of the aging process. This may narrow the space around the nerve and cause the shoulder/arm pain he's dealing with. He'll start P.T. tomorrow. Shoulder, knee, (and a sore hip) aside, Joe is healthy and feeling well (oh yeah, minus the development of allergies for the first time in his life - POLLEN - after outdoor runs, he's a sneezy, snotty mess). Remicade and Azathioprine continue to work for him. And I must brag that after seeing my doctor for my annual "wellness management" appointment (no longer called a physical) , I am in Dr. Diehr's words "perfect". There is nothing I can be doing to better my health - not one tip on something to add or remove from my lifestyle. She assured me that even my family history of heart disease is not a risk factor for me. It's empowering and rewarding to work hard for your physical health and to have it pay off. It's about daily choices, planning ahead, having a vision for your health and quality of life. I don't understand why most people are so lax about this sort of thing. Good health is earned, not given.

Work is well too - super busy the past few weeks, such that I'm always treading water instead of reaching the shore, but it's exciting (not always in a fun way) with unexpected twists and turns. For example, within a one hour time period, a young 27 year old client was admitted to the ICU near death with what was first thought to be pneumonia, but ended up being myocarditis (inflammation of the heart) induced by psych meds - unfortunately the only medication that has subdued his symptoms and allowed him to gain independence in his life.

During that same hour time, I received a call from another 27 year old client, one of my all stars (maybe former all star given his recent choice to quit meds) who is almost done with his bachelors degree, stopped taking his meds 6 weeks ago, and is growing loonier by the minute. He tells me he cannot sleep anymore because he cannot ejaculate (and this is because he's masturbating all the time), but he states he needs to masturbate every hour, as this will help him grow physically taller in height (he's about 5'7"), which will make him less vulnerable in the world. He needs to be on an inpatient unit, back on meds, but until he threatens to harm himself or others, or until there are obvious signs that he is a danger to himself, there is nothing to be done. See? never a dull moment. Oh, and my new supervisor of 2 months is awesome. She is calm, predictable (previous boss was a bit mercurial - you never knew what you were gonna get), level headed, smart, funny and without a giant ego (previous boss was hyper about you knowing she was the alpha dog).

And the boys? They are so super duper awesome. Healthy, fit, hilarious, playful, sweet and the best part of each day - or at least tied for the best part, which includes seeing Joe and plopping down on the couch!