Pondering 40

In light of my 40th Birthday approaching, my mom sent me an email with great questions. I'm including the correspondence below.

MOM:Do you feel like you are entering middle age?
ME: No, I don't think of 40 as middle aged. Depending on the person, I don't think of 50's as middle aged either.

MOM:When you were 20 what did you think you'd be doing at 40??
ME: I think at 20 I basically hoped to be where I am. I was always one to have a visions for my future. If I can remember correctly, I imagined (or hoped) I would be happy, working as a therapist, making enough money to be comfortable, living in Colorado with a great guy, no kids, with cats, traveling, having a trim body (at 20 I was almost 200#), and at peace with myself (I was a sad, unhappy cookie at 20). For the most part all of that has happened - not moving to CO was a conscious decision. The only thing that hasn't happened at 40 that I assumed would magically change, is having total comfort in my body. I thought as I aged I'd no longer care or be self-conscious about my appearance.I care as much now as I did at 10 and 20, so I reckon I'll still be this way when I'm 90!

MOM:How have you changed between 20 and 40? How have you stayed the same?
ME: How have I changed? That's a big question that will require time to think. But, off the top of my head I'd say the following:

• More confident
• More happier (improper grammar here, but to keep the "more" theme going, what the heck!)
• More friendly/outgoing
• More assertive- rather than passive-aggressive
• More decisive
• More curious - I know I don't know everything
• More wise
• More tolerant
• More disciplined
• More OCD
• More fearful of possible bad outcomes (usually irrational ones, like worrying about the tires falling off a car on the freeway, bouncing through my windshield & killing me)
• More fit
• More at peace - as in I know myself and am no longer on a spiritual quest to figure myself out

What hasn't changed:

• Still quick to anger
• Still impatient
• Still a rebel with trouble accepting authority
• Still moody (Hey! I'm a Pisces, that's what we do)
• Still prefer my own company best
• Still a voracious reader
• Still self-critical (but to a lesser degree)
• Still a vegan
• Still hold too high expectations of others

I now pass these questions along to you the reader. Regardless of your current age, think back to who you were 20 years ago. The year was 1991... what were you doing? who was in your life? how do you remember those times? how do you picture yourself then? Use these questions to help answer these:

1. How did you think your life would be today?
2. How have you changed in 20 years?
3. How have you stayed the same?